A False Step

[poliphilo]

I got a savaging on a Feminist forum the other day. It was my own stupid fault. I'm too old to run with that particular crowd. Besides, I didn't study the subject at university and I don't use- or respect- the jargon.

I consider myself a feminist. If feminism means believing in the equality of the sexes, I'm enthusiastically for it. 

But I should have realised that the gnomic, slightly mischievous comments I go in for aren't going to wash on this particular site (with its ginormous rulebook)- and that you can't challenge someone (especially if if you're a white male) in that culture of victimhood without being accused of  "exercising privilege" and "silencing" them. 

A black American woman had accused a white European woman of racism. The white European woman had replied that the black American woman wasn't taking cultural differences into consideration and that her view was "US-centric". At least I think that's what had happened. The mods then intervened to rule that if a black person accuses a white person of racism that is gospel and no comeback is possible. The white person must take her whipping in patience and humility and afterwards kiss the rod.

I said I thought this was unfair- and that US-centrism is a real issue.  Are black American women really so fragile that they need protecting from all disagreement? Isn't it kind of insulting to assume they can't hold their own in debate?

I'll admit I didn't express myself as clearly or fully at the time. I spoke off the cuff. I should have been more careful- not that it would have made much difference if I had.

I thought I'd stir up a bit of controversy. I was wrong. The pack turned on me and tore me to shreds.

I am- among other things- a white, cracker racialist who likes to wave his dick around.

I'm talking about this here because after a while I realised there was no point in trying to explain myself over there. No-one  was interested in debate, only in parading their righteousness and calling me names. When you're in a hole it's foolish to go on digging.

I'll admit I felt a bit sorry for myself at first- but I'm over it now. I took a nice walk round a lake yesterday and had fish and chips in a garden centre and visited with my niece and nephew and that sort of cleared my head. 

Comments

[wolfshift.livejournal.com]

If feminism means believing in the equality of the sexes

In my experience, it means nothing of the sort.

[haikujaguar.livejournal.com]

Nor in mine, alas.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I'm beginning to understand why so many young women refuse to identify as feminists.

[haikujaguar.livejournal.com]

They are not my tribe, as I have had cause to discover over... and over... and over...


...and over...

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I've been calling myself a feminist since the late seventies. I used to wear a clenched fist badge on my clergy robes.

I guess I was fooling myself.

But I hate to renounce the label. It's a precious part of my identity.

[wolfshift.livejournal.com]

What I find frustrating is that there is no other word to use in its place. We don't really have any other label for a belief in or activism for equality of the sexes.

[solar-diablo.livejournal.com]

"Decent human being" has always served me well.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

That's right. If there was an alternative I'd embrace it like a shot.

[haikujaguar.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately you are a man who has not allowed himself to be emasculated, so you are no longer welcome among the ranks of the 3rd... 4th... whatever wave feminism it is now.

These are not the tribe you knew, either.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Perhaps that tribe never really existed- except in my imagination.

[red-girl-42.livejournal.com]

I still cling to the term "feminist" because I feel that if I refuse to call myself that, then I am allowing a group of radicals to hijack the term.

I understand why other women distance themselves from feminism, but I'm not ready to do that yet.

[arielstarshadow.livejournal.com]

Nor mine. I will not call myself a feminist.

[sunfell.livejournal.com]

I refuse to identify as feminist also- to the perpetual puzzlement of my NOW friends.

Men are not the enemy: perception is.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I was persuaded for a while that men were the enemy.

It didn't do a great deal for my self-esteem.

[oakmouse]

"Men are not the enemy: perception is."

Excellently phrased. Thank you.

[saare-snowqueen.livejournal.com]

Not only young women. I have always refused to identify myself as a feminist despite a long career promoting expanded choices for my women students.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I hadn't fully realised until now what a bad reputation "feminism" has acquired.

[saare-snowqueen.livejournal.com]

Oh it has. That may contribute a lot, also, to the bunker mentality of people who set up sites like that. I looked at that list list of rules and regs. Jeezz! I wouldn't join them - even if they'd have me. Yuck!

[pickwick.livejournal.com]

Yep. I have frequent arguments on this very subject, because I keep running into those kind of feminists, who don't exactly inspire me to want to be in their club.

(If you're a woman who disagrees with them, your opinion has even less worth than that of a man, too.)

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I suppose a man who disagrees is only behaving as expected, whereas a woman who disagrees is a "traitor".

[red-girl-42.livejournal.com]

They simply called me a troll for disagreeing.

[ibid.livejournal.com]

not me! I hate the badmouthing but I refuse not to call myself a feminist - it's what I am.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I've been calling myself a feminist for thirty years. I think I'm too old now to stop.

[arielstarshadow.livejournal.com]

People like this would indeed be part of the reason why.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Which saddens me.