A False Step

[poliphilo]

I got a savaging on a Feminist forum the other day. It was my own stupid fault. I'm too old to run with that particular crowd. Besides, I didn't study the subject at university and I don't use- or respect- the jargon.

I consider myself a feminist. If feminism means believing in the equality of the sexes, I'm enthusiastically for it. 

But I should have realised that the gnomic, slightly mischievous comments I go in for aren't going to wash on this particular site (with its ginormous rulebook)- and that you can't challenge someone (especially if if you're a white male) in that culture of victimhood without being accused of  "exercising privilege" and "silencing" them. 

A black American woman had accused a white European woman of racism. The white European woman had replied that the black American woman wasn't taking cultural differences into consideration and that her view was "US-centric". At least I think that's what had happened. The mods then intervened to rule that if a black person accuses a white person of racism that is gospel and no comeback is possible. The white person must take her whipping in patience and humility and afterwards kiss the rod.

I said I thought this was unfair- and that US-centrism is a real issue.  Are black American women really so fragile that they need protecting from all disagreement? Isn't it kind of insulting to assume they can't hold their own in debate?

I'll admit I didn't express myself as clearly or fully at the time. I spoke off the cuff. I should have been more careful- not that it would have made much difference if I had.

I thought I'd stir up a bit of controversy. I was wrong. The pack turned on me and tore me to shreds.

I am- among other things- a white, cracker racialist who likes to wave his dick around.

I'm talking about this here because after a while I realised there was no point in trying to explain myself over there. No-one  was interested in debate, only in parading their righteousness and calling me names. When you're in a hole it's foolish to go on digging.

I'll admit I felt a bit sorry for myself at first- but I'm over it now. I took a nice walk round a lake yesterday and had fish and chips in a garden centre and visited with my niece and nephew and that sort of cleared my head. 

Comments

[daisytells.livejournal.com]

Thank you for telling me the lesbian stance on abortion. I have no problem with that viewpoint. My problem is when straight women use it as a form of birth control when there are other methods that work very well if only they would use them. Abortion should be a rare alternative, but it has become a "normal" way of life.
I championed Hillary Clinton, not just because she is female, but also because I like her platform, and trusted her to be strong enough to carry it out. I do not feel the same way about Obama. However, I like McCain even less.
About money - I have no one to support me financially - I have been on my own for about 20 years, all but the last five of them working for a very modest living. Now I am retired on the lowest income that the government allows a retiree to have, Social Security plus Supplemental Security Income. I make out very well on it. All I have ever wanted is food, shelter, and clothing and a little bit of play money. I finally have it all now that I no longer work. Ironic, isn't it?
I cannot put into words what I mean by lesbian agenda, other than to say that at those early meetings, the topics championed almost unanimously by the lesbians were for the most part of no interest to me, while my own issues were either ignored or shouted down. No hard feelings, I just parted company with NOW.
If I have upset you with my comment I apologize. I did not mean to offend, just to state how I think and feel. I believe in and champion the rights of free speech, and I reject the "PC police".

[wyrmwwd.livejournal.com]

That may not be the "official" stance on abortion, but that has always been my stance. I was very active in the Pro-Choice movement in the 80s, but I was very selfishly terrified that I would lose my right to an abortion and then be raped and get pregnant. Now, having said that, in this day & age especially, I fail to see why so many women get unexpectedly pregnant. I mean, when I was a teenager, many girls didn't know how it happened. But with birth control so readily available, it is hard for me to understand why women aren't just more careful. I made a choice not to judge, but rather, to do what I thought was right.

I didn't mean to attack, but I am really curious about what it was that the lesbians championed that was irrelevant to you. In my mind, abortion rights were always central to giving women control over their own bodies and their own destinies. But it seemed like it was more likely to be used by straight women than by me (and, that is true... I have never had an abortion, and, in fact, have never been pregnant).

There are 2 events in the history of the lesbian side of the women's movement that are of interest. One is that, at some point (possibly after you left), lesbians became very disillusioned with NOW because of what they perceived as homo-phobia. That happened really before I came onto the scene. Later on, moving from the late 80s to the early 90s, Feminisms went from 2nd Wave Feminism to 3rd Wave Feminism. This happened because a spit occurred in the Feminist Movement between the Anti-Porn crowd and the Free Sexuality crowd. The first believed that pornography (and, in fact, high heels, sexy underwear, even skirts) and certain sexual practices legitimized male domination. The other side said that policing women's sexuality was oppressive, and that women should be able to express themselves freely sexually any way they chose. (BTW, I was on the latter side).

This feud led to the collapse of 2nd Wave Feminism and into what we have now, which is the 3rd Wave.

I am sorry if I came down kind of hard. I was tired. I was just interested in dialog.

[daisytells.livejournal.com]

No offense taken here, and no apology needed. Actually more of this kind of conversation is needed. And men should be included, too. Just look at the sheer number of responses Tony got to his opening post here...Wow!

[wyrmwwd.livejournal.com]

All is well. I hope to be informative. I think Tony has learned more about lesbians in the last 2 days though, than he ever wanted to know! :)