A False Step

[poliphilo]

I got a savaging on a Feminist forum the other day. It was my own stupid fault. I'm too old to run with that particular crowd. Besides, I didn't study the subject at university and I don't use- or respect- the jargon.

I consider myself a feminist. If feminism means believing in the equality of the sexes, I'm enthusiastically for it. 

But I should have realised that the gnomic, slightly mischievous comments I go in for aren't going to wash on this particular site (with its ginormous rulebook)- and that you can't challenge someone (especially if if you're a white male) in that culture of victimhood without being accused of  "exercising privilege" and "silencing" them. 

A black American woman had accused a white European woman of racism. The white European woman had replied that the black American woman wasn't taking cultural differences into consideration and that her view was "US-centric". At least I think that's what had happened. The mods then intervened to rule that if a black person accuses a white person of racism that is gospel and no comeback is possible. The white person must take her whipping in patience and humility and afterwards kiss the rod.

I said I thought this was unfair- and that US-centrism is a real issue.  Are black American women really so fragile that they need protecting from all disagreement? Isn't it kind of insulting to assume they can't hold their own in debate?

I'll admit I didn't express myself as clearly or fully at the time. I spoke off the cuff. I should have been more careful- not that it would have made much difference if I had.

I thought I'd stir up a bit of controversy. I was wrong. The pack turned on me and tore me to shreds.

I am- among other things- a white, cracker racialist who likes to wave his dick around.

I'm talking about this here because after a while I realised there was no point in trying to explain myself over there. No-one  was interested in debate, only in parading their righteousness and calling me names. When you're in a hole it's foolish to go on digging.

I'll admit I felt a bit sorry for myself at first- but I'm over it now. I took a nice walk round a lake yesterday and had fish and chips in a garden centre and visited with my niece and nephew and that sort of cleared my head. 

Comments

[daisytells.livejournal.com]

I never joined any feminist community because way back when I went to some meetings of NOW, when feminism was newly emerging as an issue, just after the racial issue was settling down after the Civil Rights Act was passed. I broke with NOW very quickly because their agendas were not mine. Like you, Tony, I was a feminist before they were born. How do I define a feminist? Equal rights and equal opportunity for all, including men. The same way that I define civil rights for persons of all colors, including whites. I have been a victim of reverse racism, laid out in lavender for speaking out on injustices of a racial nature to anyone at all. Feminists of the NOW variety resent me for staying home and raising my youngest son - you see, I was supposed to pursue a career and demand high wages with the rest of them. They also did not appreciate the fact that I really enjoyed having a close relationship with a man. Except for one thing -- I really dont think in material terms, never did. Whites have resented me for having so many good friends of color. Some men have resented me for my female liberation, and also have criticized me as being "too smart" for them because I refused to play the "stupid woman" game tha was taught to girls of my generation.
Anyway in sum, I like men a lot, my best friends are men. I believe that (almost) "anything you can do I can do..." but not everything, and the same is true of you. And finally I really detest extremism of any kind, whether of religion, race, gender, age, or whatever.
So, my friend Tony, I like you and I dont think you are a "sexist pig". Nuff said!

[daisytells.livejournal.com]

Also, I hate, hate, hate people demanding political correctness of me in my speech, in my writing, whatever. In speech it ties my tongue. In writing it ties up my hands. I do not use words that are meant to hurt or injure others, labels that are unkind, and it's OK with me if someone wants to tell me that I am "part of mankind" because I am.
And so forth.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Thanks for your support.

I've always been drawn to the parties of the underdog- only to find, once I'm sitting in the cellar with them- that they're eaten up with spite and envy and mainly concerned with internal feuding and arguments that boil down to "my ideological position is purer than your ideological position".

Free speech is a precious thing. Perhaps the most precious freedom we have. I hate to be told that I can't use certain words or pursue certain trains of thought. It used to be sex we weren't allowed to talk freely about, now it's issues concerning race and gender and religion.

[daisytells.livejournal.com]

"...once I'm sitting in the cellar with them..."
Very well put.