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Odi was late. We'd got to that moment in the dreary high church funeral service where the priest was stalking round the coffin splashing it with holy water when Ailz's mobile rang. She had two in her bag and she fished out the wrong one. The ringing continued, getting louder.

The caller was Odi in a taxi. We had to hold up the cortege to give her time to join it for the drive from the church to Dukinfield Crem. I was cross at her. Only not really. It was good to have the kids there. They jollied things up. I spent the funeral tea being a monster and chasing them round the room. 

Ailz's first husband was at the crem. I've never met him before. He's a nice bloke who looks like the platonic ideal of a ruddy-faced yeoman farmer. She has good taste in men.

American History X.

Date: 2012-06-01 08:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ron-broxted.livejournal.com
I think a mobile NOT on silent at such a time is a removal of cojones offence.

Re: American History X.

Date: 2012-06-01 09:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] poliphilo.livejournal.com
It livened things up and- believe me- they needed enlivening.

Re: American History X.

Date: 2012-06-01 12:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ron-broxted.livejournal.com
I've become very Calvinist in my dotage. Gospel Hall takes it a bit too far, one cannot expect 4 yr olds not to wriggle through sermons that are stultifying. The traveller/gyppo community go the other way, lots of mobiles ringing. Not on my watch...

Re: American History X.

Date: 2012-06-01 01:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] poliphilo.livejournal.com
Me, I get more and more libertarian the older I get.

Date: 2012-06-01 10:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] michaleen.livejournal.com
Children seem to always cheer you. I thought they might, even on such a dreary occasion.

Glad it all went tolerably well.

Date: 2012-06-01 10:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] poliphilo.livejournal.com
It was OK. Long drawn out and tedious, with far too much superannuated religion in the mix, but it's what Dot wanted.

Date: 2012-06-02 10:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] michaleen.livejournal.com
Is Dot particularly religious or is it just for the occasion?

Date: 2012-06-02 11:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] poliphilo.livejournal.com
Hard to tell. She grew up Northern Ireland protestant and has occasionally gone to church. Once or twice, in the past month or so, she's said things that suggest she's really an animist. I think a lot of so-called Christians are.

Date: 2012-06-03 10:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] michaleen.livejournal.com
For humans, animism is almost a default position. I suspect a lot of non-Christians trend that way, as well.

Date: 2012-06-01 12:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lblanchard.livejournal.com
A little surrealism is good at a funeral.

The absolute best funeral kerfuffle I've experienced was at my brother's funeral. The church secretary transposed a digit in the opening hymn number and the organist, clearly baffled, started in on the Coventry Carol.

The officiating priest looked at the organist, looked at the service leaflet, looked at her hymnal, looked at us. We shrugged; she shrugged. It was made more hilarious for the immediate family because my nickname, a play on my middle name, was Loulee, so bye-bye-lu-li had special meaning for us as it was precisely the sort of practical joke my kid brother would have played on us. Others commented later how visibly moved we were at that moment, and we had trouble explaining that our shoulders had been shaking because we were stifling guffaws.

Date: 2012-06-01 01:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] poliphilo.livejournal.com
That's a lovely story. I adore the Coventry Carol. I'll bet it was an improvement on whatever it was it replaced.

I like it when things go wrong. Especially when it's some overly solemn piece of ritual that's being undermined.

Date: 2012-06-01 06:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] faunhaert.livejournal.com
oh how perfect of a faux paux
bet the brother typo-ed it in him self

glad the kids made it

we're more for the unserious funerals

most of the time its just and opportunity to see the living
provided by someone dying.. sadly that's what it takes some times

Date: 2012-06-01 07:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] poliphilo.livejournal.com
You're right, Funerals are an opportunity for the tribes to gather.

Date: 2012-06-01 07:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zoe-1418.livejournal.com
What a day! Glad you all got through it OK and that you could be a monster for the kids. ;-)

Date: 2012-06-02 09:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] poliphilo.livejournal.com
I had a lot of steam to let off.

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