In The Barest Terms

[poliphilo]

My father-in-law sleeps almost all the time. It's been several days (maybe a week, I'm not keeping score) since we last saw him properly awake. He's no longer infectious so he's been moved back onto the main ward.  The medical staff- we're on first name terms with some of them now- describe him as "better". There's talk of discharging him. 

My mother-in-law doesn't want him to go into a "Home". She rang up the ward yesterday morning and was very "brusque" with Sister about it.  (We would much rather he did.) 

Comments

[pondhopper.livejournal.com]

Maybe your MIL will see she can't deal with your FIL's care if he does go home and then consider a "home". He may be better but he won't be well or easy to care for (supposing he can do a minimum of self-care). Could he get home care? I hope it all works out.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

At the moment he's incapable of doing anything for himself. She's been told what home care would involve- including people coming to the house every four hours (probably round the clock) but she doesn't want him coming round in a Home and blaming her for institutionalizing him.

[michaleen.livejournal.com]

Sounds like he's quietly taking his last lap.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

But- medically speaking- there's not a lot wrong with him...

[michaleen.livejournal.com]

I think someone had better tell Eric, then.

[daisytells.livejournal.com]

That's how it was for my mother. She slept almost all the time for the final six months or so. At that point there was no way that home care would have worked for her. She ate next to nothing, drank hardly anything, so they put her on IV fluids to keep her hydrated. At last, she "slept to wake no more" very peacefully and without pain.

[daisytells.livejournal.com]

And by the way, my Mom had no diseases or health issues other than the big one, that the body was worn out. After a long life that happens, I guess.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

That seems to be where Eric is at. I think he's given up on life. I don't altogether blame him.

[michaleen.livejournal.com]

How merciful for all involved!

[veronica-milvus.livejournal.com]

I wonder whether you could float the idea of a few weeks in a "rehab centre" which is essentially a home. By the end of which the healthcare professionals could assess whether he is able to improve or not. This sounds to me like depression, actually.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

This afternoon he didn't know who she was.

It looks as though the hospital is going to be moving him onto its own rehab ward. That would postpone the decision for a while.

Yes, I think depression is part of the problem. He has a history of it.

[arielstarshadow.livejournal.com]

Hard decision to make. The rehab centre you speak of sounds like a good middle step. How spry is your MIL at this point in time? Could she care for him on her own without exhausting herself?

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

She's over 80. She thinks she could manage. I have my doubts.

[ibid.livejournal.com]

i do feel for you

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Thank you.