Parenthood

[poliphilo]

I want to say thank you to everyone who responded to my post about surrogacy. It's been really interesting.

Here's a related issue. At the beginning of her article Melanie Thernstrom writes, "to be childless felt like being deprived of something essential: the primal human experience." This niggles me. To begin with I simply disagree. Parenthood is not the "primal human experience".   The primal human experience is engagement with the world- and whatever it happens to throw up; a childless life is not a second-class life. Secondly it comes dangerously close to asserting parenthood as a "right"- which I don't believe it is. Parenthood is a privilege- which many abuse. Children are not property or playthings or an extension of the parent, but  autonomous beings whom the parent is never going to fully understand. The greatest thing a parent can do for their child is to let it go. As Khalil Gibran wrote, "Your children are not your children."

I'd like to know what you think...

Comments

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Parenthood is an awesome responsibility. I have three children- all now adults. Raising them was the hardest work I ever did- and I'm very much aware of all the ways in which I let them down.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry, your statement seems to be coming a little bit out of left field as they say. I'm not sure how it relates directly to anything my comment or if it's meant to.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

You're quite right. Put it down to tiredness.

I don't believe Thernstorm raises herself above criticism by writing "felt" instead of "thought". There's an idea there- and ideas exist to be debated.

Nor do I think she can hide behind her "pain". We have all suffered pain. It's the human condition. If pain excuses everything then nothing's right and nothing's wrong.