Annoyance

[poliphilo]

I don't like my father-in-law. I find it hard to be polite to him or even sit in the same room. There are reasons for this, some of which must- in the nature of things- reflect discredit on me. I've written about all this in the past and I don't want to go over it again.  Some people- all of them as far as I can see people of his own generation- find him a thoroughly decent bloke. I think the antipathy is probably deeper than the facts of the case warrant. Even if I knew nothing to his discredit I wouldn't want to be around him. Call it a magnetic repulsion.

He's been in failing health for several years now- and Ailz and I are the ones who have to deal with it day in, day out.  It would be nice if I felt something other than annoyance.

Comments

[michaleen.livejournal.com]

Sainthood suits you. I doubt the halo is ever comfortable, though.

We should cast a critical eye over our actions, but must never be so quick to judge our emotions. How you feel simply is. If it isn't pretty, well, that is just part of the human condition. Were it otherwise, it would be impossilbe to understand, and as a consequence overlook, the negative emotional states of others.

I face a similar situation with my own parents. It is bad enough putting up with their bullshit directly, but on top of that the way they often treat me infuriates my beloved, placing her in a very uncomfortable situation.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Saints don't feel this level of resentment.

It comes of having been a vicar once. I feel compelled to act nice.

I should have told them to "fuck off" twenty five years ago.

[michaleen.livejournal.com]

I don't know. If saints don't have to wrestle with something as commonplace as resentment, then doesn't that make their achievement a bit over-rated?

It is a genuinely tough call. You are probably right and maybe you should have told them to fuck off years ago. Then again, dealing with the consequences of that decision might have been worse. As I say, I face something similar. I should have told mine to fuck off, too, yet the challenge they represent has indeed been an opportunity for personal growth.

And I have difficulty shaking-off the Confucians on this one. Never has a benevolent man abandoned his parents.