Annoyance

[poliphilo]

I don't like my father-in-law. I find it hard to be polite to him or even sit in the same room. There are reasons for this, some of which must- in the nature of things- reflect discredit on me. I've written about all this in the past and I don't want to go over it again.  Some people- all of them as far as I can see people of his own generation- find him a thoroughly decent bloke. I think the antipathy is probably deeper than the facts of the case warrant. Even if I knew nothing to his discredit I wouldn't want to be around him. Call it a magnetic repulsion.

He's been in failing health for several years now- and Ailz and I are the ones who have to deal with it day in, day out.  It would be nice if I felt something other than annoyance.

Comments

[veronica-milvus.livejournal.com]

It's one of those "games people play" that were defined in Transactional Analysis. If you find yourself saying "ok, here we go again" then it is a repeating pattern with a payoff for the parents, and you could consider how to stop playing their game.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I did a bit of T.A. once- and have forgotten about it. Thanks for the reminder. Yes, we are trapped in repeating pattern. One of the things we should have done- a long time ago- is tell them straight up what fearfully bad parents they were and how they needed to stop being so needy and controlling.