poliphilo

I love routine in every day life- eating the same breakfast off the same plate every day- but not at all in the spiritual life. In the spiritual life- the life of the mind- I'm hungry for the unfamiliar. There's a universe out there and I want to cruise it all. I rarely re-read a book- or watch a movie twice- and I've been finding it a terrible bore having to soldier through the same unvarying liturgy week after week.

This isn't the only reason I'm leaving the church (again) but it counts. If I enjoyed saying and singing the words I might be able to cope with not believing in them- but I don't . This isn't about aesthetics. We could be singing the finest words to the finest music and I'd still be chafing. After a time- and with me its a very short time- even Cranmer palls.

I thought, since I was getting old, that I was ready to nest inside a religious tradition. I was wrong. I don't want that kind of spiritual domesticity. I'm tired, but I'm not that tired. "Old men should be explorers". Tell me something new.