Not As Mellow As I Thought

[poliphilo]

I edited my profile. I took out the subtitle "A Priest in Spite of Himself" and restored the one that was there before, "Searching for Polia".  I also removed the line about trying to be an Anglican priest and a Wiccan high priest all at once and replaced it with "And now I am nothing in particular. Being Nothing In Particular is also a vocation."

I've been scanning the posts I made at the start of the year. I'm reassured to see that from the very beginning I was- as it were- veering about all over the road. We went to Glastonbury and I popped into a witchy shop and bought myself a pentacle ring- to restore the balance. I'm still wearing that ring, by the way. That facet of my identity- on the side of the rebels, the loners, the women- is something I won't disown.

The people at church are such lovely people, but ...

I can't be doing with all that kow-towing before a God who is imagined as a bronze age king or pharaoah. It's demeaning. It's unthinking.

I can't be doing with the cult of Jesus. Jesus as the supposed source of some pithy ethical teachings? Yes. Jesus as a mythogical sun-god- on a par with Hercules- Yes. Jesus as supernatural best friend/superego/be-all-and-end-all? No.

And I detest most hymns.

The reason I got out of the Church 25 years ago still weigh with me. I believed I'd mellowed, that I was ready to make the necessary compromises- but I haven't and I'm not. 

Comments

[pondhopper.livejournal.com]

Coming to that realization so quickly is a good thing. You have sounded frustrated and angry in many of your recent posts and all this seems to be at the root of it. Why wear shoes that hurt and pinch?

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Exactly.

But, no harm done. And Ailz says she wants to go on attending the church- which is fine by me. I saw her over the initial, tricky patch- and now she knows people and will be happy going on her own.

[jackiejj.livejournal.com]

(Intruding third person here:) This sounds like a good solution, and I'm glad Ailz has made friends and "will be happy going on her own."

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I think it'll work....