Some People I Know

[poliphilo]

When she was only a baby they decided that their daughter would be a tribulation to them. It's how they accounted for her to themselves. And it was the script they handed her- both a license and a condemnation.

Half a century later they still adhere to the script. They like it so much, they have passed over every opportunity to know her better, to find out who she really is. Even though she's now their chief support, they enjoy telling friends and strangers- yes, even strangers- what a tribulation she is.

And they run her down to her face.

They are not otherwise bad people. They have virtues.

But all of that is none of my business. My business is to hate them. 

Comments

Re: My parents did that.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

The mother in this case only approves of boys- and took her son-in-law's part against her daughter when the marriage broke up.

Re: My parents did that.

[jubal51394.livejournal.com]

Been there, done that too.

Now that that I'm on my third husband, my parents are deceased and it's all too late... I finally realize how very sad this all is. My parents missed knowing the most awesome person whose life ever crossed their path. Me!

Re: My parents did that.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

That's a brilliant way of looking at it.

The other day the daughter told her mother she was going to be doing a course in 20th century art- to which the mother replied, "Why are you doing that? You know nothing about art"- which only goes to show she knows nothing- and cares less- about her daughter's life.

Re: My parents did that.

[jubal51394.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah! There's obviously much more going on there. My suspicion was always that my Dad fell in love with me the moment I was born and Mother never got over her jealousy. Of course, I acted out as a teen and made sure they both presented a unified and very negative front for me. Oh! The things that parents do to the world without ever knowing it!

Re: My parents did that.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I've done things I'm not proud of.

Parenthood is something for which most of us get little or no training- and really it's no wonder to most of us make a pig's ear of it.

Re: My parents did that.

[ibid.livejournal.com]

I've been reading Wollstonecraft and she notes how many women are jealous of their daughters.

How would she feel to know such behaviour were still current?

(Glad Aliz has had the sense to leave them behind)

Re: My parents did that.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

It's strange, isn't it? I suppose human nature remains a constant. Did Wollstonecraft link this intergenerational jealousy to female oppression?

Re: My parents did that.

[ibid.livejournal.com]

Yes, and the belief that women only have sexual power over men - when a woman loses that then she is powerless and is consequently jealous - which is still true to an extent.

Re: My parents did that.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Deep waters.

Scary stuff.