Dirk Bogarde

[poliphilo]

 Life on planet Earth is tough and I'd like to think we get Brownie points for sticking the course. I was reading a selection of Dirk Bogarde's letters in the Telegraph yesterday- and came away thinking, "Yes, if I can manage my life like he did I'll be happy." He had integrity and courage. When his career went stale on him- as it did, twice- he didn't shrug his shoulders and go shuffling on for the sake of the paycheck- but stopped and changed course.  First he was a matinee idol, then a serious film actor, then a writer.  He succeeded in everything he tried- but that's not really the point. The point is that he never gave up trying. Or to put it another way, he didn't stop living until he was dead. It's not that he wasn't tempted. The death of his long-time companion after a three-year illness all but flattened him. But he got through his time of mourning,  put the booze away and went on being creative and useful. To my mind that makes him a kind of a saint.

Comments

[jackiejj.livejournal.com]

I'm there in that questioning time, feeling itchy and restless--and useless.

And it's hard not to count and know that quality must count now, not quantity.

I have these moods when I feel I must do something well, some grand gesture like--taking in a foster child, a very difficult foster child--as if that would make my life count again.

I'm doing what he did not--taking my pension money, pulling weeds in the garden, walking to get the mail.

I'm feeling very useless and leftover and stale, and that's my own fault, but where to start? How to start over now? My skills I used to work are now passe, out of date.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

LJ is one of my lifelines. I try and post something every day.

Otherwise I set myself projects- like reading the whole of Balzac.

It's a day by day struggle...

[jackiejj.livejournal.com]

You have a gift, Tony, that you pour out to Ailz, every day.

And to us.

Love from Jackie

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Jackie.