Dirk Bogarde
Aug. 4th, 2008 02:47 pm Life on planet Earth is tough and I'd like to think we get Brownie points for sticking the course. I was reading a selection of Dirk Bogarde's letters in the Telegraph yesterday- and came away thinking, "Yes, if I can manage my life like he did I'll be happy." He had integrity and courage. When his career went stale on him- as it did, twice- he didn't shrug his shoulders and go shuffling on for the sake of the paycheck- but stopped and changed course. First he was a matinee idol, then a serious film actor, then a writer. He succeeded in everything he tried- but that's not really the point. The point is that he never gave up trying. Or to put it another way, he didn't stop living until he was dead. It's not that he wasn't tempted. The death of his long-time companion after a three-year illness all but flattened him. But he got through his time of mourning, put the booze away and went on being creative and useful. To my mind that makes him a kind of a saint.
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Date: 2008-08-04 02:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-04 02:52 pm (UTC)For me personally, I believed I had a vocation as a herbalist, but gave up my studies when my mum was ill. Life has moved on, my circumstances have changed, I've been depressed about it, and I can't go back, but I am now doing other things which perhaps aren't as all-consuming as herbalism was (a good thing perhaps), but I am happy with my life and the way it is going.
:)
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Date: 2008-08-04 04:33 pm (UTC)I wrote this post to gee myself up. The older you get, the less resilient you are- and the easier it is to think, "Oh well, I've had an interesting life thus far, but really I've done enough- and what's wrong with switching off and taking it easy for the rest of my life?
I don't want to get that way. I want to remain engaged with the world. And to do so I need to keep kicking myself in the shins.
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Date: 2008-08-04 08:11 pm (UTC)Why waste it doing nothing when you could have a lot of fun "engaging with the world" as you said. :)
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Date: 2008-08-04 10:02 pm (UTC)And it's hard not to count and know that quality must count now, not quantity.
I have these moods when I feel I must do something well, some grand gesture like--taking in a foster child, a very difficult foster child--as if that would make my life count again.
I'm doing what he did not--taking my pension money, pulling weeds in the garden, walking to get the mail.
I'm feeling very useless and leftover and stale, and that's my own fault, but where to start? How to start over now? My skills I used to work are now passe, out of date.
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Date: 2008-08-05 07:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-05 07:58 am (UTC)Otherwise I set myself projects- like reading the whole of Balzac.
It's a day by day struggle...
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Date: 2008-08-05 04:46 pm (UTC)And to us.
Love from Jackie
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Date: 2008-08-05 06:55 pm (UTC)