Foot Spas, Blackbirds And Reincarnation
Jun. 7th, 2008 10:42 am1. Ailz acquired a foot spa off Freecycle the other day. We went and picked it up and the man who handed it over at the door called me, "my man" twice in the course of thirty seconds. In the far off and long ago "my man" was how rich men in wind-up motor cars addressed simple, smock-wearing country folk when they had to stop and ask them for directions. It was patronising to the point of insult. Coming from a scruffy-looking bloke in a council house it presumably has other connotations- but I can't say I liked it much.
I just topped the spa up with nearly-boiling water from the kettle. Ailz seems to be enjoying herself. There are bubbles.
2.The blackbirds who nest in our ivy have successfully raised one brood this summer and are now raising another. This makes me happy. One cannot have too many blackbirds.
3. Michael Newton- author of Journey of Souls- says we enter into a covenant not to remember past incarnations when our souls return to earth. We have lessons to learn- and it's better we start with a clean slate. Our responses will be fresher if events surprise us- and the task will seem more urgent if we don't realise we have lives to burn. Yes- fair enough- but to know what I was is to know who I am- and I'm finding it really frustrating to be kept in the dark.
I just topped the spa up with nearly-boiling water from the kettle. Ailz seems to be enjoying herself. There are bubbles.
2.The blackbirds who nest in our ivy have successfully raised one brood this summer and are now raising another. This makes me happy. One cannot have too many blackbirds.
3. Michael Newton- author of Journey of Souls- says we enter into a covenant not to remember past incarnations when our souls return to earth. We have lessons to learn- and it's better we start with a clean slate. Our responses will be fresher if events surprise us- and the task will seem more urgent if we don't realise we have lives to burn. Yes- fair enough- but to know what I was is to know who I am- and I'm finding it really frustrating to be kept in the dark.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-18 02:54 pm (UTC)They are, his mother told me (she lives creepily around the corner from me, a bent-over old woman, cold and sad) suggesting hospice for him now.
I am so used to rushing in to right things, to--oh: smooth things over. This time I just stand by, knowing there is nothing I can or should do, ever, now.
Kate and Richard must do this themselves, without me.
But there's this part left: that I still see him as a boy, and unbroken, in the brief time when we first loved each other.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-18 03:03 pm (UTC)But, yes, you've played your part in his life.
Do Kate and Richard have a good relationship with their father?
no subject
Date: 2008-06-18 03:08 pm (UTC)My son's relationship is more complicated, I think, and less resolved.
Both, I think, feel sad for him, and go on with their lives.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-18 03:16 pm (UTC)We reap what we sow.
Maybe he'll do better next time round.