Wedding Day Nerves
Apr. 18th, 2008 10:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
poliphilo1. Ailz and I agree that if we were getting together now we wouldn't bother to get married- and that we did it back then (nearly 17 years ago) because we were unsure of ourselves. On the whole, I see the decline in marriage as a good thing- a sign that people are less dependent than they used to be on the approval of Church and State.
2. There's a vicar in Surrey who's in trouble with his parishioners because he won't marry out-of-towners- not even if they're the children of parishioners. I used to take much the same line when I was a vicar so I sympathise. "Sorry," I'd say, smiling sweetly all the while. "Church law forbids it." (Which was true) " My hands are tied." I don't know why this isn't working for him. I guess he just doesn't have my people skills. Mind you, his church is in a wealthy area (it featured in one of the Bridget Jones movies) and most of the people who'd like to have it as a backdrop for their photographs are used to getting what they want.
2b. Why not get married in front of a green screen? Then you can paste in any backdrop you fancy.
2c. I didn't enjoy conducting weddings. They gummed up my Saturday afternoons, I rarely got to see the people again- and all that legal paperwork terrified me.
3. Ailz and I conducted a number of Wiccan handfastings. I don't believe any of those couples are still together. In one case the beginning of the break-up can be dated from the ceremony.
4. The fanciest wedding I ever went to was in Worcester cathedral. My seat was within spitting distance of the tomb of "bad" King John. The groom was some sort of diplomat and the bride was my distant cousin. They've split up.
5. I can't believe this post has turned out so unremittingly negative.
6. We're going to a wedding this afternoon. It'll be great. Think orange blossom.
7. Actually, I'm nervous. All this cynicism is bravado. Neither of us likes being in big groups or socialising with strangers or (even worse) people we half-know.
8. Time I went and got ready.
2. There's a vicar in Surrey who's in trouble with his parishioners because he won't marry out-of-towners- not even if they're the children of parishioners. I used to take much the same line when I was a vicar so I sympathise. "Sorry," I'd say, smiling sweetly all the while. "Church law forbids it." (Which was true) " My hands are tied." I don't know why this isn't working for him. I guess he just doesn't have my people skills. Mind you, his church is in a wealthy area (it featured in one of the Bridget Jones movies) and most of the people who'd like to have it as a backdrop for their photographs are used to getting what they want.
2b. Why not get married in front of a green screen? Then you can paste in any backdrop you fancy.
2c. I didn't enjoy conducting weddings. They gummed up my Saturday afternoons, I rarely got to see the people again- and all that legal paperwork terrified me.
3. Ailz and I conducted a number of Wiccan handfastings. I don't believe any of those couples are still together. In one case the beginning of the break-up can be dated from the ceremony.
4. The fanciest wedding I ever went to was in Worcester cathedral. My seat was within spitting distance of the tomb of "bad" King John. The groom was some sort of diplomat and the bride was my distant cousin. They've split up.
5. I can't believe this post has turned out so unremittingly negative.
6. We're going to a wedding this afternoon. It'll be great. Think orange blossom.
7. Actually, I'm nervous. All this cynicism is bravado. Neither of us likes being in big groups or socialising with strangers or (even worse) people we half-know.
8. Time I went and got ready.
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no subject
Date: 2008-04-20 06:42 pm (UTC)My second was to a woman. I knew and liked her, but I wasn't ready to be what she needed me to be.
My third one was to another woman, and I still know and like her very much, but I guess I wasn't ready to be what she needed me to be, either.
My current is with a woman who hates making commitments. We have a 14 year long non-committed relationship. Except that we are actually very committed to one another. I think the ring and the ceremony would break the spell. But it is incredibly easy for us to be together, so, it doesn't seem like an accomplishment, really, but thank you for saying so.