Orders For Life

[poliphilo]

I had a grandfather who made a lot of money. I had a father who made a lot of money.  But me, I don't have that ability at all. Rather the reverse. It's not that I'm careless with money. Or profligate. No, not at all. I just can't get anywhere with it. I don't understand it. I'm even a little scared of it.

Stephen Pegler- I mentioned him a few posts back- had his bedroom set up as an office- just like daddy's. Ooh, how grown-up! So I copied him. What do you need? A desk?  Check. A notepad? Check. A pen? Check. A telephone? We'll have to imagine that. And Bingo,  I'm a businessman. And now what? I sit behind my desk and...and... Gosh, this is boring, lets play soldiers instead.

And that's the story of my life.

I also have this thing where I'm useless with numbers.  I can't do math. I can't remember dates. Ask me how old my children are and- I'm ashamed to say- I have to work it out on my fingers.

And in the bad old days when I was a professional and had money coming in on a regular basis I never could remember how much. I'd be asked to fill in forms stating my yearly or monthly income and I didn't know. So I'd look it up and write it down- then promptly forget again. 

I used to think I could break the spell- like write a bestselling book or something- but I'm getting old and I've seen the pattern so now I just accept it as the way it has to be. 

Like it's my fate?  Well, not exactly, because I don't believe it's inexorable. If I really wanted to over-ride it I probably could. But there's something that holds me in check. A compulsion, an inner voice. There  were times in my life when I might have followed the money trail but at each opportunity I turned aside because it seemed wrong. Not wrong in absolute terms, but wrong for me.

It's like I'd made some sort of antenatal compact. As if someone had spread out my life before me and said, "Here it is. You'll go from A to B and work on these karmic issues you've get hanging around and it'll all be reasonably jolly just so long as you shy away from making money- OK?" And I've looked it over and approved it and signed on the dotted line.

There's a story by Kipling where he talks about Orders for Life- "the sentence which is written on the frontal sutures of every three-year-old child, which is supposed...to foreshadow his or her destiny."  The Orders for Life aren't unbreakable but if you break them there'll be consequences- unpleasant consequences- so you really don't want to try.  He was joking of course- well sort of- but  I think he was onto something.

Comments

[idahoswede.livejournal.com]

For whatever reason, some people draw money to them, often more than is either good for them or even humanly imaginable. Some people use their money in good ways which seems to attract even more money to them (Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates), other people become more and more greedy and selfish (Leona Helmsley). Whatever.

Me, I'm a mathematical cretin myself. And although I have in the past had lots of money, it has, through good and bad schemes, trickled away, like water poured on sand. Used to frustrate me, but then not and with the acceptance of the fact that I will NOT be a rich woman in this lifetime has come the very obvious fact that I DO get the amount of money I need (not want) when I need it. Maybe a few extra dollars or pounds, but never too much more than my need.

I think this has been a good thing for me spiritually and morally, I accept what comes and am grateful and I do have enough for a roof over my head, clothes for my body and food on the table and a little left over to help those I love as well. As I said, I have enough for my own good.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Yes, I can identify strongly with what you're saying here.

I seem to have been allowed enough money to get on with the tasks I'm meant to be doing in this life- and not enough to knock me off course. Or something like that.

[margaretarts.livejournal.com]

This is just the post I needed this morning--I can identify completely. So I'm not completely off-base. Haven't been able to find someone to discuss this with in Oregon. Does one go to a psychiatrist, financial advisor, career counselor, pastor or just sit behind the desk at home and look busy for oneself and the dog? Anyhow, thanks!

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I'm happy it's hit the spot.

This isn't the sort of thing people discuss much- and I found it a hard post to write (I've been putting it off for a while) mainly because I wasn't sure it wouldn't come out sounding screwy.

[margaretarts.livejournal.com]

My "condition" is the sort of thing people would try to FIX if I went to one of the places I mentioned. So it was great to read that maybe I'm just wired this way and am living out my contract as agreed to. People not caught up in the Western worldview spend a lot more time and energy on relationships, stories and other non-monetary things; I'm learning from them.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

And yet the Western worldview is shaped at least in part by the Bible- which goes on and on and on about holy poverty. We've all heard that line about NOT laying up treasures on earth and yet how few of us pay the slightest bit of notice.

It puzzles me. It always has done.

[margaretarts.livejournal.com]

Absolutely. I've written a book manuscript with that theme of holy poverty, reminding us that the small child, bit of yeast, seed is what the kingdom of God chooses to be identified with, not the big and wildly successful things. Three executive editors wanted to publish it last year, yet the marketing teams couldn't see any "greatness" in it--yes, that's the whole point! *strangles self while searching for polite reply* I guess we can't expect to be congratulated for going against the majority mindset. Alternative presses are next.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Maybe you could publish it online- as an eBook or whatever the word is.

It would be funny if a book on holy poverty became a huge moneyspinner- and maybe just the kind of joke that the universe loves.

[margaretarts.livejournal.com]

I guess that would be called "The Bible."

;)

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Ha! Exactly.

There's a couplet of William Blake's I'm very fond of- adressed to his enemies.

"Both read the Bible day and night
But thou read'st black where I read white."

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

PS. i hope you don't mind if I friend you. I just had a look at your blog. Those poems- your own work, right? They're beautiful.

[margaretarts.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much (my poems are signed mds). Of course--become a friend. (I found you by looking at seraphimsigrist's friend page.) Also, if interested, become part of our open community wingfoldchatter for more poetry and visual arts.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the invitation. I'll go across and visit the community.

What I particularly like about your poems is their economy. They're simple without being simplistic- and that's a hard thing to pull off.

[margaretarts.livejournal.com]

I appreciate you seeing and saying that. I do like simple.