Orders For Life

[poliphilo]

I had a grandfather who made a lot of money. I had a father who made a lot of money.  But me, I don't have that ability at all. Rather the reverse. It's not that I'm careless with money. Or profligate. No, not at all. I just can't get anywhere with it. I don't understand it. I'm even a little scared of it.

Stephen Pegler- I mentioned him a few posts back- had his bedroom set up as an office- just like daddy's. Ooh, how grown-up! So I copied him. What do you need? A desk?  Check. A notepad? Check. A pen? Check. A telephone? We'll have to imagine that. And Bingo,  I'm a businessman. And now what? I sit behind my desk and...and... Gosh, this is boring, lets play soldiers instead.

And that's the story of my life.

I also have this thing where I'm useless with numbers.  I can't do math. I can't remember dates. Ask me how old my children are and- I'm ashamed to say- I have to work it out on my fingers.

And in the bad old days when I was a professional and had money coming in on a regular basis I never could remember how much. I'd be asked to fill in forms stating my yearly or monthly income and I didn't know. So I'd look it up and write it down- then promptly forget again. 

I used to think I could break the spell- like write a bestselling book or something- but I'm getting old and I've seen the pattern so now I just accept it as the way it has to be. 

Like it's my fate?  Well, not exactly, because I don't believe it's inexorable. If I really wanted to over-ride it I probably could. But there's something that holds me in check. A compulsion, an inner voice. There  were times in my life when I might have followed the money trail but at each opportunity I turned aside because it seemed wrong. Not wrong in absolute terms, but wrong for me.

It's like I'd made some sort of antenatal compact. As if someone had spread out my life before me and said, "Here it is. You'll go from A to B and work on these karmic issues you've get hanging around and it'll all be reasonably jolly just so long as you shy away from making money- OK?" And I've looked it over and approved it and signed on the dotted line.

There's a story by Kipling where he talks about Orders for Life- "the sentence which is written on the frontal sutures of every three-year-old child, which is supposed...to foreshadow his or her destiny."  The Orders for Life aren't unbreakable but if you break them there'll be consequences- unpleasant consequences- so you really don't want to try.  He was joking of course- well sort of- but  I think he was onto something.

Comments

[halfmoon-mollie.livejournal.com]

Also, you don't have to be good with money. It's there, period.

[idahoswede.livejournal.com]

For whatever reason, some people draw money to them, often more than is either good for them or even humanly imaginable. Some people use their money in good ways which seems to attract even more money to them (Oprah Winfrey, Bill Gates), other people become more and more greedy and selfish (Leona Helmsley). Whatever.

Me, I'm a mathematical cretin myself. And although I have in the past had lots of money, it has, through good and bad schemes, trickled away, like water poured on sand. Used to frustrate me, but then not and with the acceptance of the fact that I will NOT be a rich woman in this lifetime has come the very obvious fact that I DO get the amount of money I need (not want) when I need it. Maybe a few extra dollars or pounds, but never too much more than my need.

I think this has been a good thing for me spiritually and morally, I accept what comes and am grateful and I do have enough for a roof over my head, clothes for my body and food on the table and a little left over to help those I love as well. As I said, I have enough for my own good.

[msjann65.livejournal.com]

I went against my orders for life not once, but several times, fighting the inevitable I call it. And yes, there were consequences - serious ones!
Now that I am in my "dotage" I go with the flow and life is so much better, so much simpler.

[sunfell.livejournal.com]

I wonder how much of this 'dyscalculia' you have is real, and how much of it is cultural?

The idea of "Orders for Life" is a peculiarly English thing- you're born to your station or destiny, and you should not change it.

Out here, it's the polar opposite: you might be born dirt-poor, but you can overcome that. Heck, you can even become President if you work hard enough.

Yes, I am aware that economic reality is changing things out here in the US, and that our 'social mobility' is now becoming more fixed than in England, where's it's loosened quite a bit. So, we have problems of the opposite polarity: where English people can break out if they want to, and where Americans are becoming increasingly unable to do so.

That said, there is a large element of outlook and attitude involved in dealing with money. Some of it might be actual dyscalculia- the inability to process numbers. This is a very real problem- the numbers version of dyslexia, the inability to process letters and words. It hasn't been as widely addressed as dyslexia, but it is still a very real thing. (Oddly enough, people with dyslexia have amazing success as businesspeople and entrepeneurs- they're able to delegate tasks that they cannot do well themselves.)

So, it's something that can be addressed- if you wish to do so. For a long time, I thought that I had a problem with math and numbers, but discovered fairly recently that I didn't- and in tracing back, realized that the damage was done during a single semester in Catholic School in second grade. I'd discovered a pattern in how numbers work, and was so eager to share it that I got into trouble and was actually punished for being 'disruptive'. That incident 'crashed' my math skills for a very long time, making me terrified of the whole thing. Only fairly recently have I managed to recover this, using that pattern recognition system, and now suddenly things are turning around for me in an amazing manner.

It's a flow, a Current, a Rhythm, a Pattern. If you're on the beat, in the channel, it'll work for you. If not, you'll struggle fruitlessly against it. It's all in recognizing that flow.

And the Current works in other realms, too. It's a quiet thing that permeates everything we do- much like the fictional "Force" of Star Wars fame. Discovering and riding it is an empowering thing- but not Power Over, but Power Within, because this Current cannot be controlled. It simply is. Attempting to control or direct it smacks you up against that "Orders for Life" thing: doing something that is akin to swimming against the tide. You get nowhere awfully fast.

So, maybe you have dyscalculia. So, what? Are you happy, content? Have you created coping devices to deal with it? And are you willing to look for patterns that will take you around those obstacles that this problem presents? That was what I did, and doing so took me from poverty to solvency.

And check out this article:

Seeing the Gorilla

[veronica-milvus.livejournal.com]

Well, I didn't have rich parents (e.g. local comprehensive rather than private schooling!) but I have "attracted money to myself" by working like buggery, first at exams and then at my career, since the age of 14, with no real let up. It is great not to have to worry any more about money, but boy does it cost me, in that my job sucks the life out of me. I don't want to do it for ever.

I am going to come to some sort of mid-life crisis soon where I will have to decide whether to continue running in my litte money-spinning hamster wheel, (maybe even faster, if I decide I am still ambitious) or, alternatively, let go of everything I know how to do, and have a completely different life, but potentially a more fulfilling one. That is scary.

Poliphilo, you, on the other hand, could make money out of what you love to do, and at the same time get your remarkable writings to the audience they deserve. The poetry, especially, ought to be published, if it isn't already! What have Iain Pears, Philip Pullman and Neil Gaiman done, that you could not do?

[manfalling.livejournal.com]

Also my plan- write a best-selling book. That would be awesome.