Still Sorting Out My Mother's Affairs
Mar. 17th, 2023 10:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
poliphilo We still get mail addressed to my mother- almost all of it from the charities she supported. I scribble out our address and write PLEASE RETURN TO SENDER in very big letters across the envelopes and put them in a post box. I make a point of writing "Please" and not just "return to sender" as in the '60s pop song because these little courtesies matter.
My mother's charities are mostly not ones we care to support. In fact, mostly I'm against supporting charities, full stop. Mostly I think they're inhuman- and money-grabbing and guilt-inducing- and not infrequently agents of western imperialism (like the missionary societies our grandparents thought were so godly and which regrettably still flourish.) Mostly I prefer to put my money directly into the hands of the people I want to be aiding.
Like homeless beggars.
Charity should be personal and hands-on, I think.
*****
We're making final arrangements for my mother's memorial service. Our celebrant wants churchiness- and since we'll be on his turf I concede that his rules apply. This morning we've been looking at the list of Bible readings he suggests and I think we've settled on Isaiah 25, 6-9. "What is wine on the leaf?" Ailz asks after I read it to her. "Not 'leaf", 'lees'." I reply "And, no, I've no idea why wine on the lees should be supposed to be the good stuff- but it clearly is- and God moves in mysterious ways..." Actually, I didn't say the last bit but I think it's clever so I've added it in. We all like to rewrite history so that we shine that little bit more...
*****
The Bible I read to Ailz from was my mother's. She has written her name on the inside cover in a childish hand. Also there's an inscription from her father dated 1935. She'd have been 14- the age of Confirmation in the Church of England- so I deduce that it was a confirmation gift. The Allens were a Quaker family but at some stage our branch of it switched allegiance to the Established Church. I suspect this was because of the Great War- and my grandfather's decision to don uniform, which the Quakers, being pacifist, would have frowned upon- but it's only a guess...
My mother's charities are mostly not ones we care to support. In fact, mostly I'm against supporting charities, full stop. Mostly I think they're inhuman- and money-grabbing and guilt-inducing- and not infrequently agents of western imperialism (like the missionary societies our grandparents thought were so godly and which regrettably still flourish.) Mostly I prefer to put my money directly into the hands of the people I want to be aiding.
Like homeless beggars.
Charity should be personal and hands-on, I think.
*****
We're making final arrangements for my mother's memorial service. Our celebrant wants churchiness- and since we'll be on his turf I concede that his rules apply. This morning we've been looking at the list of Bible readings he suggests and I think we've settled on Isaiah 25, 6-9. "What is wine on the leaf?" Ailz asks after I read it to her. "Not 'leaf", 'lees'." I reply "And, no, I've no idea why wine on the lees should be supposed to be the good stuff- but it clearly is- and God moves in mysterious ways..." Actually, I didn't say the last bit but I think it's clever so I've added it in. We all like to rewrite history so that we shine that little bit more...
*****
The Bible I read to Ailz from was my mother's. She has written her name on the inside cover in a childish hand. Also there's an inscription from her father dated 1935. She'd have been 14- the age of Confirmation in the Church of England- so I deduce that it was a confirmation gift. The Allens were a Quaker family but at some stage our branch of it switched allegiance to the Established Church. I suspect this was because of the Great War- and my grandfather's decision to don uniform, which the Quakers, being pacifist, would have frowned upon- but it's only a guess...
no subject
Date: 2023-03-17 12:47 pm (UTC)My own Bible (RSV which I'm not a fan of as I prefer the KJV- we have both) was a confirmation gift.
no subject
Date: 2023-03-17 01:14 pm (UTC)I have- or had- a New Testament that was a Confirmation gift