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The mad, bad Emperor, Commodus, is dead. The nasty political types who have been toadying him (headed by the great Eric Porter- or Soames Forsyte as he'll always be to me) proclaim our hero (Stephen Boyd in a touselled yellow wig) as Emperor in his place. Boyd declines, saying, "You wouldn't like me as Emperor because my first act would be to crucify the lot of you"- and exits stage right holding hands with Sophia Loren; wherupon the nasty political types start bidding against one another to win the loyalty of the Praetorian guard. "Two hundred thousand dinars to be Emperor of Rome," "Three hundred thousand" "A million for the Empire!" And so on...

For some reason this scene- the conclusion of the not altogether shabby epic movie The Fall of the Roman Empire- popped into my head when contemplating the jostling of the Tory hopefuls as they bid against one another (the videos they're putting out are a treat) for the twinned offices of Party Leader and Prime Minister left vacant by Boris Johnson.

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