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I'm reading this novel (Hawthorn and Child by Keith Ridgway) and three quarters of the way through a character is introduced who goes off on one about Tony Blair and how evil he is- and I thought if I were Tony Blair and I were reading this and quietly enjoying it I'd feel as if I'd been ambushed.

And then I wondered whether Tony Blair reads contemporary novels- because if he does the sensation of being ambushed must be familiar to him.

And then I wondered how he feels if and when this happens. Does he go "This is so far from the truth it's funny?" or "How could anyone be so mean about me when I'm such a good person and mean so well?" or "I wish I was Xi Jinping and could ban this filth?"

But then I remembered how Blair once said his favourite novel was Ivanhoe and how I immediately drew the conclusion that he doesn't read novels at all- because how could anyone say Ivanhoe was their favourite novel if they'd actually read it- or indeed, if they'd ever read anything else.

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