Useless Celebs

[poliphilo]

Piers Morgan, former editor of the Daily Mirror, was banging on about "useless celebrities" last night. Channel 4 gave him a whole hour to eviscerate people who are famous for having slept with footballers or come second on Big Brother.

Piers is brash and coarse and bullying and I wound up on the other side. Most of the "useless" celebs he interviewed were actually quite charming. He was rude to them and they responded with guffaws and giggles. I especially warmed to Jade Goody (who is famous for giving a fellow contestant a blow-job under the sheets in the Big Brother house.) She's big and bosomy and jolie-laide and full to over-flowing with the life-force.

I mean what harm do these people do? They amuse us, they entertain us. Does it matter that they have no very obvious talent? It's not as if anyone takes the seriously.

At one point Piers prety much gave the game away. Talking to acerbic, old Anne Robinson, he admitted that he resents Goody and co's easy fame because he himself had to graft for his. So, yeah, it's actually all about the Protestant Work Ethic.

Yawn.

Meanwhile he'd commissioned a poll to discover the 10 celebs that the Great British public considers most useless. We counted down through the programme until we came to David and Victoria Beckham at numbers 2 and 1. Now Posh and Becks may be among the most irritating people around, but "useless" they're not. Posh was a member of one of the most successful and influential pop groups of recent years and David is a world-class footballer. At this point Piers's ugly argument wobbled and went out of focus.

He tried to pull things back with a piece of closing rhetoric. If we don't change our ways, he intoned, it'll be too late and.... well, what exactly? All the people of real talent will emigrate? evaporate? Sorry, Piers, but that's just silly.

Comments

[heleninwales.livejournal.com]

David is a world-class footballer.

And of course it's really easy to get to play for Manchester United, England and whichever top European club it is he plays for at the moment. It doesn't take any hard work at all. It's not like they have to train for hours, keep in peak physical fitness and be a good team player, is it? I mean compared to being a former editor of the Daily Mirror, it's a piece of cake.

To be serious for a moment, I think there's a class element here too. All these "useless" celebrities are either working class themselves or are liked by working class people. They're products of working class TV/tabloid culture, not high culture.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Exactly. And maybe there's also an element of sexism too. Apart from Beckham all the individual names in the top ten were women.

The sight of Piers getting ever so tough with Abbi and Jade and Rebecca made me feel slightly queasy. I was happy that Anne Robinson put him in his place.

[jackiejj.livejournal.com]

Well, speaking of Big Brother...

Ours is still tottering along, but we are so conservative over here that there are never torrid sex scenes. It's all about boring strategy in its sixth season.

And speaking of odd fame: a nine-year-old boy who was trapped at the now infamous New Orleans Convention Center became a precocious spokeman for the group. He was articulate and fierce: "These people need food! They need water! And we are promised food and water, but it never comes!"

He was magnificent. We all fell in love with him.

This morning, the Today Show managed to track him down, and he and his granny appeared live on their program.

Katie asked him: how are you doing?

His answer: okay.

How do you like your new school?

It's all right.

What is it like, to be in a shelter?

I don't know.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I've never watched Big Brother. I steer clear for the same reason I steer clear of soaps- I'm afraid of getting addicted.

We haven't seen that little boy yet, but I expect the British news providers will pick up on him eventually. I like the sound of him.

[jackiejj.livejournal.com]

The first season of Big Brother fascinated me. The people they picked were a little crazy. One older man everyone called "Chicken George" had a sort of breakdown toward the end, and put tinfoil on his head like a hat and fell down in the shower--it was very odd, and MOST entertaining.

Now it's only young pretty people who never talk about their lives or whether or not they like their Big Brother house (the first bunch had chickens in the yard--it was fun to watch them feed the chickens, or float around in their little swimming pool).

It's become totally dull and predictable. I miss the good old days of Chicken George and his tinfoil hat. What a loony!

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

The British Big Brother seems to have become rather ugly- not to say borderline pornograpic. There was an incident recently where the manipulation of the residents by the production company led to such a fraught situation within the house that the police were called in.

[jackiejj.livejournal.com]

Really?? The police? I must say, I would have watched that one.

We had a crazed resident a couple of years ago who threatened a woman by waving a vacuum cleaner over her head. They threw him out.

None of the people is particularly likable. There is always at least one irritating blonde who tosses her hair all day and puts on lip gloss.

Well. I must quit watching it. It's stupid. Really.

I hate it, in fact.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I think- but I may be wrong- that it was a viewer who alerted the police to what was going on.

I get the impression that the British BB contestants have become more and more "Jerry Springer" with each successive series.

[jackiejj.livejournal.com]

Speaking of Jerry Springer!

I had heard of him, of course, but never saw him once until a week or so ago when I stumbled onto his program.

My God.

Those poor stupid people, getting their clothes ripped off!

And the audience, yelling for blood!

Nauseating. From what I could tell, the fighters onstage were mostly consumed with self-loathing. It was, finally, just sad.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Here in London someone staged a show called Jerry Springer, the Opera. It was one of the biggest hits of recent years, so much so that the BBC televised it.

[michaelkeane.livejournal.com]

His appearance on Have I Got News For You was absolutely priceless.

Twat.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Yes, I remember that.

My dislike of the man is largely founded on that appearance.