Horrible Old Woman

[poliphilo]

Dot is vile to Ailz. For instance, in the car today she was telling us how much she dislikes the CD we bought her for her birthday. The only song she likes is the final track, all the other songs are wrong in one way or another and one of them is about happiness and that's the last thing she needs.    At the time I listened to her dodder her way through the complaint and thought, "Poor senile old thing, one can't take this seriously." But afterwards I reflected on the content- divorced from the dodder- and thought, "No. Actually, that was poisonous!"

Comments

[athenais.livejournal.com]

I have a friend who looks forward to old ladyhood so she can finally say what she thinks. I keep telling her that way lies a huge dropping off of friendships and a reputation for being too much trouble to deal with. Because there's a reason we use social filters and it's not to be conformist and repressed and never get to say what we think.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

If "not saying what she thinks" is such a burden, she should just say what she thinks and deal with the consequences NOW, such as having no friends, being shunned by family, and being harder to employ, as co-workers have trouble working with her.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

If Dot were a fearless speaker of the truth I'd have some respect for her, but she's not. She's one of those people others avoid because the negativity comes beaming off them.

[ideealisme.livejournal.com]

Dot is vile to Ailz.

And it seems that this is not new behaviour. And that your wife is in thrall to her mother and cannot be freed.

That must be frustrating for you to see your wife crave the attention of someone who disdains her and whose good opinion is worthless, because it is unwinnable.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Her mother has treated her this way all her life. Ailz is someone on whom she can unload all the bile she wouldn't dare unload on anyone else.

[cmcmck.livejournal.com]

You know that I know how it feels although you also know that in my case I walked away a long time back.

HUGS to Ailz and Hugs to you for being strong enough to put up with all this stuff.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

It's almost certainly too late to walk away now. Dot is old and frail and it would be like kicking someone who is down.

[solar-diablo.livejournal.com]

My mother in law is a similar sort, with the added bonus of being sweet as honey to everyone not related by blood our marriage. Reserving the Mr. Hyde side of your personality for the people in your life who would find it more difficult to avoid you is especially insidious. My MIL has the daughters she treats rather cruelly. For myself, I had little difficulty writing her off years ago. She lives only 25min away, but in the last 10 years I've said maybe 10 words to her.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I have as little to do with Dot as I can. My role is to support Ailz. That said, we're taking the old hyena to the shops this afternoon.

[davesmusictank.livejournal.com]

I just hate negative people , full stop

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

This one has been negative all her life.