Back To The Beginning

[poliphilo]

Very early childhood memory. I'm stood at the top of the stairs listening to my parents rowing in the kitchen. My mother tells my father, "You're the most selfish person I know."

The child thinks: " So this is what the world is really like." And, "You can't rely on these people for anything."

The child feels guilty. He has found his parents out. He also feels comforted. The worst thing he can imagine has just happened- and he is still here. He has lost his faith in his parents and has discovered his faith in himself.  Knowledge is power. Wisdom is strength.

Comments

[cmcmck.livejournal.com]

HUGS

I know this all too well and you know why I know...........

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

It's a lesson everybody has to learn sooner or later.

[heatherp8.livejournal.com]

sorry you had to feel those feeling -- especially you can't rely on these people for anything.

it's a sad and lonely feeling. but as you say, discovering self-reliance is a good thing. too bad sometimes it has to come at such a price.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

But It all works out in the end.Ii wouldn't want to change anything now.

[wyrmwwd.livejournal.com]

I had that moment when I was about 5. I stood in the living room and both of my parents were passed out drunk. I thought to myself "and these are the people that are supposed to be in charge?" From that point on, I never relied on them for anything anymore. I started trying to get a job... of course, nobody would hire a five year old, but I did go to work almost immediately after I turned 16, and I moved out almost immediately at 18 and moved 2000 miles away.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I can't date my experience exactly. I picture my sister being there but that would have made me seven or eight and I'm pretty sure I was younger.

My parents were never awful to me- merely neglectful. When I grew up I put 250 miles between them and me.