Developments

[poliphilo]

Odi says she's missing Peter. Ailz says she should buy a vibrator. Odi says she'll borrow Ailz's. Peter, by the way, has been trying to get other friends besides us to act as go-betweens. I tell Odi she mustn't see him without Home Office minders. She says she means to be strong. Then I talk her through hitching up her washing machine. 

Comments

[tamnonlinear.livejournal.com]

A lot of it is simply that abusers make themselves the center of your life- your other associations shrivel, and though unhealthy, they supply you with a lot of emotional content; they may not have done much good for you, but nonetheless they were present in every aspect of your life. Remove them and you are at a loss; for so long you have patterned your life around them, and been use to that level of maintenance and interaction.

I honestly believe that the fact I was working two jobs in order to afford to leave my ex-husband is one of the reasons I was able to do it. All that other activity to fill up my time, all those other interactions to give me feedback on how I was doing. One thing I did not feel was isolated. Plus I'd finally reached the point that I understood that being concerned more about his well-being would destroy me, and ending the old patterns was a relief. Rest could come later, once I was sure I was out.

Good luck to her. I wish you all well.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

It's good that Odi is living right outside Peter's orbit. He doesn't have her address or telephone number and can only get at her through third parties. She's a very sociable person and I'm hoping she'll be able to fill her life with new people, new interests and so squeeze him out. The longer they're apart the more chance there is of that happening.