Fatherhood
Nov. 13th, 2004 08:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
poliphiloWhat's with this this father-son thing that Hollywood keeps shoving
at us?
Spielberg can't leave it alone. Catch Me If You Can was sharp and funny so long as Leo was sticking it to the Man, but then we found out that his delinquency was down to the lack of a father figure and all it needed to reform him was for Tom Hanks to offer him unquestioning love.
Yesterday I was watching Finding Nemo. Great film in its way, but Albert Brooks's fussy lttle everyman of a soccer-dad made me feel queasy. If Ellen DeGeneres hadn't happened along I might well have walked out.
It's like the nineteenth century cult of motherhood. It gives off a sickly smell. I think there's something rotten that's being covered up.
Actually, I know perfectly well what it is. A very high proportion of dads who walk out of a marriage lose contact with their kids within two or three years. And a high proportion of those who stay behind are bullies, brutes and abusers. Of course there are good dads, but there are an awful lot of absolute shites as well.
Do families need fathers?
We daren't say "no" because if we did it would hurt the feelings of men. And that would be tricky because it's men who run the world. So we tell ourselves these cute little stories to keep ourselves from thinking too much about the facts.
There was once a little fishy and his wife got eaten by a barracuda so he had to look after his baby son all by himself and he loved his little son so much that he got a weeny bit over-protective; and then one fine day...
at us?
Spielberg can't leave it alone. Catch Me If You Can was sharp and funny so long as Leo was sticking it to the Man, but then we found out that his delinquency was down to the lack of a father figure and all it needed to reform him was for Tom Hanks to offer him unquestioning love.
Yesterday I was watching Finding Nemo. Great film in its way, but Albert Brooks's fussy lttle everyman of a soccer-dad made me feel queasy. If Ellen DeGeneres hadn't happened along I might well have walked out.
It's like the nineteenth century cult of motherhood. It gives off a sickly smell. I think there's something rotten that's being covered up.
Actually, I know perfectly well what it is. A very high proportion of dads who walk out of a marriage lose contact with their kids within two or three years. And a high proportion of those who stay behind are bullies, brutes and abusers. Of course there are good dads, but there are an awful lot of absolute shites as well.
Do families need fathers?
We daren't say "no" because if we did it would hurt the feelings of men. And that would be tricky because it's men who run the world. So we tell ourselves these cute little stories to keep ourselves from thinking too much about the facts.
There was once a little fishy and his wife got eaten by a barracuda so he had to look after his baby son all by himself and he loved his little son so much that he got a weeny bit over-protective; and then one fine day...
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no subject
Date: 2004-11-14 01:40 pm (UTC)I think you are being a bit hard on men. My own father is lovely ad I can joke and be silly in a way I can't be with Mum. when Dads get it right it is superb!
Also is it a daily mail esque reaction against working mothers?
Or is is like Baboons. In baboon groups there is an alphamale who is big and hard. Lesser males form friendships with babies and then get to know (in all senses) the mothers (Kind of Nick Hornbyish n'est c'estpas?) but by presenting that image they are getting women.
On a final rambling note I read an article in psychology today ages ago which said that many men after they have been married for a few years experience a rise in Oestrogen in their brains and a corrisponding fall in testosterone which makes them more willing to settle and remain faithful.
no subject
Date: 2004-11-14 01:53 pm (UTC)And a lot of what is going on is about men fighting to hold on to their turf. There's a nostalgia for the fixity of the Victorian gender roles.
That's interesting about the rise in oestrogen levels in married men. And the baboons. I'm glad the feminized male baboons get to be "friendly" with the gals.
Girlie men of the world unite!
no subject
Date: 2004-11-14 03:15 pm (UTC)Also the basic reason of why I could never be a lesbian - women willinsist on holding post mortems over their emotions! Men don't and it is so refreshing!