Fatherhood

[poliphilo]

What's with this this father-son thing that Hollywood keeps shoving
at us?

Spielberg can't leave it alone. Catch Me If You Can was sharp and funny so long as Leo was sticking it to the Man, but then we found out that his delinquency was down to the lack of a father figure and all it needed to reform him was for Tom Hanks to offer him unquestioning love.

Yesterday I was watching Finding Nemo. Great film in its way, but Albert Brooks's fussy lttle everyman of a soccer-dad made me feel queasy. If Ellen DeGeneres hadn't happened along I might well have walked out.

It's like the nineteenth century cult of motherhood. It gives off a sickly smell. I think there's something rotten that's being covered up.

Actually, I know perfectly well what it is. A very high proportion of dads who walk out of a marriage lose contact with their kids within two or three years. And a high proportion of those who stay behind are bullies, brutes and abusers. Of course there are good dads, but there are an awful lot of absolute shites as well.

Do families need fathers?

We daren't say "no" because if we did it would hurt the feelings of men. And that would be tricky because it's men who run the world. So we tell ourselves these cute little stories to keep ourselves from thinking too much about the facts.

There was once a little fishy and his wife got eaten by a barracuda so he had to look after his baby son all by himself and he loved his little son so much that he got a weeny bit over-protective; and then one fine day...

Comments

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I've wondered who the E.T. was :)

Yes, I've been particularly hard on fathers, but I know that good mothers are also a rare commodity.

I think good mothering has to do with what happens inside the home and good fathering to do with what happens outside. (This is off the top of my head.) I agree that neither is gender-specific.

[karenkay.livejournal.com]

I've wondered who the E.T. was :)

We are best buds and more than that. (And less than that since he lives in NY state and I live in Texas.) I don't remember what my life was like before I met him, and I caught myself once looking at old family pictures and wondering why he wasn't in the picture...

But anyway. The division of inside the home and outside the home is superficial. What happens inside the home affects your life outside in a profound way. The best managers I've had, for example, were also good parents. (They want their children to grow up to be autonomous, healthy, loving, individuals.)

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

"autonymous, healthy, loving"- yes, that's the goal. And too many parents find that a big challenge- especially the "autonymous" bit.

[karenkay.livejournal.com]

Oh, there are days when *I* find it a challenge, too.