Childhood Fears

[poliphilo]

Fabi is terrified of the rabbits. He can't be in the same space as them. He can't even be in the room next to where they are.  He insists they bite- though I don't believe one has ever bitten him. Perhaps we warned him they bit when he was a toddler to stop him from poking them in the eyes. You never know with kids what damage a well-intended, thoughtless word will do.

Kids are unaccountable in their fears. I remember I was scared to the same pitch of hysteria by a cartoon cowboy- and ventriloquist's doll- called Hank. When the theme music started I had about three seconds to run from the room before his dead-eyed puppet face, with its big droopy moustaches, popped out of nowhere and filled the screen. Hank was supposed to be a lovable character

What do you do?  Yesterday we went and sat in the back yard and all the time he was yelling and screaming about rabbits.  I took him into the ginnel- away from the rabbit- and he kicked the football for a minute or two, but then the horrors returned.

Comments

[chiller.livejournal.com]

Does he get extra attention / comfort when he shows fear? I suspect the answer is to secure the rabbits somewhere they really, truly can't get to him, and then tell him he's safe (as long as he stays out of X) and just tell him he's safe when he wibbles and then immediately distract him with something else, instead of being particularly comforting.

I was phobic of everything as a child, after I was taken away from my mum. With hindsight it's easy to see why, but there isn't an easy answer, other than to ensure that the child knows they are safe, and then try not to reinforce it by making a fuss over him when he's being scared, I guess.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Good advice.

Yes, he does get more attention when he cuts up. I think it may well have something to do with having to compete with a baby sister. Next time he comes- provided we know he's coming (we didn't yesterday and were caught unprepared)- we will tidy the rabbits away first.

[chiller.livejournal.com]

Yeah, sounds as if it's an unconscious attention-getty thing, and definitely if he learns that being afraid is effective for refocusing the room on him, he'll sprout phobias all over the place. Hopefully you can nip it in the bud this way and give him happy attention instead!

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I hope so. I guess I dealt with this sort of thing with my own kids, but it's getting to be a long time ago now- and I'm feeling rusty.

[chiller.livejournal.com]

Weirdly, I deal with this all the time with Henrijk (except he will use aggression to draw the focus back to himself, when he has jealousy issues with one of the others).