Parenthood

[poliphilo]

I want to say thank you to everyone who responded to my post about surrogacy. It's been really interesting.

Here's a related issue. At the beginning of her article Melanie Thernstrom writes, "to be childless felt like being deprived of something essential: the primal human experience." This niggles me. To begin with I simply disagree. Parenthood is not the "primal human experience".   The primal human experience is engagement with the world- and whatever it happens to throw up; a childless life is not a second-class life. Secondly it comes dangerously close to asserting parenthood as a "right"- which I don't believe it is. Parenthood is a privilege- which many abuse. Children are not property or playthings or an extension of the parent, but  autonomous beings whom the parent is never going to fully understand. The greatest thing a parent can do for their child is to let it go. As Khalil Gibran wrote, "Your children are not your children."

I'd like to know what you think...

Comments

[craftyailz.livejournal.com]

It's only since I became Menopausal that I've stopped hoping -every month - that, although it couldn't happen - it might. Being childless - when you want one - hurts.

This is my personal feeling. Everyone has a right to their own opinion - no one opinion is greater than another. It has to be personal choice whether to use all ways possible to have a child or not. I didn't. I went for infertility tests and then gave up. I feel now that in my 20s I would have made a lousy mother - now I'd probably be pretty good - except for the health issues.

Parenthood is a minefield - unfortunately so often childhood is too.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Yes.

We do what we can with what we've been given...