Surrogacy

[poliphilo]

A childless friend of mine is considering surrogacy. I know what I feel- which is "yeuch"; I'm less sure what I think.  To help me make up my mind my friend sent me this article from The New York Times.  The author has had two kids with two different surrogates, is awfully pleased with the supremely ethical choices she has made- and seems to believe- as rich people so often do- that the people she is paying are smiling at her because they love her. She also descends, towards the end, into nauseating babytalk. The article hasn't changed my feelings. If anything it has hardened them- but I don't like finding myself on the same side as the Pope.  Are my objections atavistic and patriarchal or am I right to trust my gut? 

Comments

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I think I would feel a similar queasiness. This is a gut reaction, not a reasoned one.

[airstrip.livejournal.com]

What if they donated the same?

[airstrip.livejournal.com]

Anyway, what I'm trying to do is get at what causes the "queasiness". Some people are bothered by it because they are bothered by all things bodily which come from others. Some people are queasy because of the pecuniary dimension.

Some people have a real problem with surrogacy in itself without any ties to payments or any queasiness about any other kind of "organ sharing".

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

A woman carries a child for 9 months and then hands it over to someone else. This strikes at everything we believe about motherhood. I think the initial reaction has to be "whoops".

[heleninwales.livejournal.com]

I couldn't hand over a child that was mine, that is was conceived from one of my fertilised eggs and contained my DNA and I can't understand (at a visceral level) how any woman could do that. However, though I personally didn't enjoy being pregnant, I know some women do and they do genuinely glow and look beautiful in that condition, so I don't have any problem with them offering to grow a baby (created by IVF) for someone else.

Motherhood isn't just about incubating a foetus; it's about passing on a genetic inheritance and nurturing a baby to adulthood. Or in other words, providing both the nature and the nurture.

All purely my own opinion, of course.

[airstrip.livejournal.com]

Ah. So it's the surrogate and their ability to surrender the child which makes you squeamish?

I don't think that's necessarily misplaced. Someone who's able to do that might lack a solid emotional foundation.