Surrogacy

[poliphilo]

A childless friend of mine is considering surrogacy. I know what I feel- which is "yeuch"; I'm less sure what I think.  To help me make up my mind my friend sent me this article from The New York Times.  The author has had two kids with two different surrogates, is awfully pleased with the supremely ethical choices she has made- and seems to believe- as rich people so often do- that the people she is paying are smiling at her because they love her. She also descends, towards the end, into nauseating babytalk. The article hasn't changed my feelings. If anything it has hardened them- but I don't like finding myself on the same side as the Pope.  Are my objections atavistic and patriarchal or am I right to trust my gut? 

Comments

[glitzfrau.livejournal.com]

I have the same gut reaction.

But I have had the same gut reaction about many things that seemed distasteful to me in the past, including abortion, gender corrective surgery, IVF, adoption and plastic surgery, and have changed my attitudes to all of them (well, only partially to the last one) when I experienced them close to hand. We don't make choices in a perfect world where ethics are simple and clear-cut; we make them in an unequal capitalist world where some people are infertile and desperate and others are poor and/or willing. I wouldn't want to act as a surrogate, but I have lots of more attractive choices to earn a few grand; for a woman in a less privileged position, it might well seem a much better option than struggling for years in unpleasant work to build up the same amount of money that you can gain in nine months as a surrogate.

And as a lesbian, I don't think I have the right to judge anyone else's unorthodox reproductive choices, because I sure as hell can't have a baby the 'natural' 'tasteful' way.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I think my revulsion from surrogacy has a lot to do with its unfamiliarity. It's a relatively new idea. It hasn't been debated all that much. Society isn't comfortable with it. We haven't worked out the ethics.

The women who acted as surrogates for the author of the article were neither of them desperately needy- and seem to have chosen to do it- by her account anyway- because they enjoy being pregnant.