poliphilo

I hate jokes (I don't mean witty remarks- I mean silly stories with punchlines) and usually forget them as soon as I've heard them- because they're mostly stupid- and assume a baseline acceptance of blokey, middle-of the road, pub and football culture. Of all the hundreds I've heard in my 59 years on earth only two have stuck. I'm not sure why. I'd like to think it's because they're cleverer than average. Both are entirely juvenile and horrid- so don't ask me to print them here because I won't. One is disgusting but involves ingenious wordplay, the other takes a honed razor blade to my most dearly held liberal principles; I got it off the entirely reprehensible but very funny Auberon Waugh.

It seems I now know three.

I found the third yesterday on my crossword puzzle site.

Did you hear about the lunatic who got frisky down the launderette, then ran away when the police were called? Next day the Sun went with the headline- Nut Screws Washers And Bolts.