A Busier Morning Than I Was Expecting

[poliphilo]

Once again I was dragged from my bed by an early morning delivery. Only this time I was awake and on the edge of getting up of my own free will. The delivery consisted of two bottles of powerful-smelling gunk. "Do we have to drink this?" I asked. "No said Ailz, "It's for rubbing on my hips."

And now the bell goes again- and it's the man from the stairlift company. That was quick. Ailz only rang them half an hour ago. She rides up and down for him demonstrating how the lift squeals like a stuck pig. It's an utterly filthy noise. The man thinks it's the rollers.

I offer to make him a brew.

We drink tea all through the morning, every morning, cup after cup after cup.  Ruth gave us a big brown teapot for Christmas. Ailz likes her tea made in a teapot. Personally I can't see what difference it makes, but if she's happy it's fine by me. I load the pot with three teabags and put the kettle on. Since we acquired the teapot, we've consumed very little coffee in this house. Tea refreshes you without making you jumpy. At least, that's its effect on my metabolism. I'll drink coffee if I'm out- on the road- going round the shops- and need that extra kick. I take my coffee strong. Only expresso will really do.

The lift engineer is joined by a younger assistant. He doesn't want a brew. Good, because I've already committed to the three teabags. The hallway smells of tomcat- which is embarrassing- and not our fault. Some filthy beast must have sprayed the front door. It happens.

My Arts and Letters Daily leads with an article about how belief in God is bad for you. Apparently the happiest societies in the whole world are Denmark and Norway- which are also the least religious. I'm not surprised.

But how do you measure happiness? I mean, really!

I harbour a weak suspicion that the economic crisis may- on balance- make us happier.  It depends, I suppose, on whether a change of fortune brings about a change of heart.  I remember writing something to this effect in the parish mag when I was a vicar and being answered in the local paper by some guy who called me a complacent, middle-class twat and challenged me to live on benefits. Well, I took him up on it.  I've been living on benefits- pretty much- for the past 15 years. It can be done. Poverty is an evil- obviously- but you don't have to be very far above the poverty line to be happy. The trick is to be content with what you've got- to grow your own cabbages and ironically tip your hat to the squire as he rides past with the weight of the world on his shoulders.  I've always known that. I think I came into the world knowing that.

You don't need that new plasma TV. You don't need to go abroad for your holidays. You don't need to buy so much food from the supermarket that you end up throwing a third of it in the bin. You don't need to listen to the advertisers. You don't need to care what the neighbours think.

Jesus confirms me in this opinion- which is why I still have time for him- even though I don't believe in him.

God makes you unhappy- but only if he's the wrong sort of God.

Most people are hitched up to the wrong sort of God.

The engineers are running the lift up and down on its tracks. I'm not hearing that hideous squeal any more. "Looking good," says the chief engineer. "Looking good."

The doorbell goes again. And this time it's the in-laws. I wasn't expecting them till this afternoon. My mother in law hands me a little bag of limp lettuce for the rabbits.

And I still haven't changed out of my dressing-gown.

Comments

[wolfshift.livejournal.com]

You don't need that new plasma TV. You don't need to go abroad for your holidays. You don't need to buy so much food from the supermarket that you end up throwing a third of it in the bin. You don't need to listen to the advertisers. You don't need to care what the neighbours think.

I'm frequently astonished at the number of people who think they do need; who can't comprehend the distinction between need and want.

I'm also appalled by how many people seem to turn their brains off as soon as the commercial break begins, and let the tricks of marketing transform them into consumer zombies. I want to scream, "Can't you see how they're trying to manipulate you?!"

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I've always hated the advertizers and I've never understood that "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality. Sod the Joneses! How can people be so foolish and shallow and easily led?

[daisytells.livejournal.com]

I broke ranks with the Joneses in 1958 at age 17. I did not think they were worthy of emulation. Maybe it was because I was born to poor but respectable parents, who managed to teach us that "enough is sufficient".

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I read an article about, "keeping up with the Joneses" in the Reader's Digest when I was a kid, back in the 50s. I thought, "Do people really live like this? They must be mad."

[(Anonymous)]

"I've been living on benefits- pretty much- for the past 15 years"... "The trick is to be content with what you've got".

Being content on benefits is all very well, but you should remember that these benefits are a modern luxury. Also if everyone decided to replace working with living on benefits, there'd be no money to pay for the benefits and we'd all be even more screwed than we are now :p
Tom F

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Yes, they're a modern luxury- but I happen to be living in 2009 and not 1909. If it were 1909 my situation would be different and I would have had to adapt accordingly- but it's not.

Actually, I think the benefits thing is a bit of a red herring. Before Ailz went on the sick I did a number of low-paid, blue-collar jobs. I was pretty content with those as well. :)

And then again it's a moot point whether I'm actually living on benefits or not. Ailz gets disability allowance- and I get a pittance for being her carer. That probably counts as employment. I've never been entirely sure.

[(Anonymous)]

I wasn't referring particularly to your case, more to your discussion of benefits almost as a career choice (i.e. taking the guy up on his challenge). Benefits should be treated very much as a safety net as opposed to a career choice. Here I'm really referring to the new sub-class we have in this country, which sits below the working class, who've never worked and have little incentive to work.
Just for the record I also hate advertising, and I also hate things which are designed to break after 6 months (which seems to be a lot of things these days). :)

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

And now we're in a recession the underclass is only going to get bigger.

I don't know what the answer is. We have more people than we have jobs for them to do.

[veronica-milvus.livejournal.com]

I sense a sly dig at people like me, a corporate wage slave! Well, in a year or so I will be free of mortgage and that will give me some options.

And although Tom F was a little blunt... erm... I am also paying for your benefits. I don't begrudge it, I know your situation, and I know that you've in the past done some caring jobs that I would not contemplate - but somebody has to be pedalling the wheels of industry in order to make society worth living in for people who can't work.

I love my nice house - especially now it has adequate heating - but I have lost the need to Have More Stuff. There's nowhere to put anything else. I think it is those American Dream guys who say:

"Don't aspire to have more - aspire to BE more".

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

The blunt Tom F is actually my nephew. :)

I wasn't getting at you- or anyone else in particular. I've always thought this way. Of course we need people to be working. And besides, you get it. You know you don't need to be constantly acquiring more stuff to be happy.

[sunfell.livejournal.com]

No, I don't need the plasma TV- silly things guzzle power like anything, and my house is too small for one, anyway.

But if the price is right on the right sort of LCD TV when I have a little money to spare, I'll snag one.

Maybe.

My analog TV works just fine, and will get through the transition to digital TV OK, too.

My life has been a series of slow, small upgrades- from paycheck to paycheck in the military to hand-to-mouth when my retail commissions started drying up. Now I am in the strange place of seeing my investments- including the savings I had for a house downpayment- evaporate, and I am glad I still have 20 years to go before retirement, because my retirement savings evaporated, too.

I sometimes feel like I am doomed to keep my nose just barely above the waterline.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

One needs to upgrade one's technology- simply to keep apace with the modern world- simply to stay in touch.

Like you we worry about money. I have nights when I wake in the "wolf hours" and fret. I don't suppose I've felt entirely secure- except fleetingly- for over twenty years.

[veronica-milvus.livejournal.com]

I enjoy having enough money not to have to keep worrying about it, and I'm working hard to pay the mortgage off, so that if I lose my job (as happened to me once before) I won't panic. If I wake up in the night worrying its about my health or my husband's.

I like the challenge of the job, although I'm a bit stale at the moment and working with She Who Must Be Obeyed, which makes it a chore sometimes. But I am cash rich and time poor.

I'm out of the house at 7.30am for 12 hours or more. By the time I've cooked and washed and ironed and shopped there's precious little time left. Sleep is at a premium.

I would spend my money on a holiday or writing course rather than on Things; unlike my husband who is Gadget Central. Just the sheer number of cables and power leads and so on get me down...

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I never planned a career. I took lots of risky choices- and ended up here. It's been an interesting life....

[daisytells.livejournal.com]

Most of us who are living on "benefits" were underpaid working people for several years.
My recalcitrant daughter crudely told everybody on LJ that I am "sucking on the public tit". Well, so be it.
Like you said, I have known all my life that I do not need the latest toys, designer clothes, the fad of the day whatever it may be. I am content that for the first time in my life I have adequate health care, enough income to pay rent and eat and clothe myself modestly. As for those who put down my lifestyle I say, "I have paid my dues!"
Amen to you, friend, you said it!

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I got to where I am by a twisty route. I never- or rarely- did the obvious or expected thing. I took lots of risks-some of which paid off. Some of it was pretty scary. I never did anything with the sole aim of making money...

[daisytells.livejournal.com]

Me too!~

[craftyailz.livejournal.com]

I worked hard for over 20 years - having an anxious personality meant that I was a workaholic at times, which helped me to be where I am today ;). I found that working encouraged everyone to keep up with one another, everyone watched the same tv programmes - or you were out of the discussions. I hated the need to fit in. Once I got with Tony I found I wasn't expected to enjoy the things people in an office do - the pub, the soaps etc. And then having someone who actually encouraged me to give up taking 12-14 Solpadeine so that I could put in a day's work has made my life wonderful. I believe in work - and earning your money - but not the 'group' mentality a lot of co-workers expect.

[daisytells.livejournal.com]

Good for you, Ailz! I'm with you on that. The "Crowd" is so often wrong!

[zoe-1418.livejournal.com]

I love this description of your day!

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Thanks

[wlotus.livejournal.com]

When I was laid off from my job a year ago, I was surprised to discover just how little money I truly need to maintain my current standard of living. Sure, there are things I can't do right now, like take my annual trip to Trinidad and give large sums to charity, but all of my needs are met. I don't go hungry. My rent is paid. I have a little extra for treats from time to time. It makes me wonder what on earth I did with all of the money I used to make; I can live comfortable off of about 1/4 of that.

Much of my family would be very unhappy to hear me say this, but I was downright miserable when I was hitched up to the God of my youth. I am far happier and peaceful, now. I don't know how being hitched to that God worked so well for them, but if it does, more power to them. I just know I am better off having left all of that behind.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

As prices started to rise we cut our expenditure accordingly. We found it wasn't all that difficult to lop £10-20 off our weekly food bill.

The problem with the "God" most of us were raised with is he's just too small. He's a tribal God- an angry old man in a nightie.

[petercampbell.livejournal.com]

If this recession does end up being as bad as everyone anticipates, I think people will be surprised how little they can get by on. Like you, I think it might actually do some good in some ways.

I don't begrudge anyone living on benefits. I know enough people in that situation to know that it's not by any means an easy ride. And I enjoy work - it keeps me stimulated and, more importantly, interacting with people. Douglas has been off work for over two years now with a neck injury, and will probably never be fit enough to return. He finds it a long, lonely day sometimes, and even though I'm less social than he is, I would as well.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I'm a loner. And a lousy team player. But I too would probably find it a long, lonely day if it weren't for the Internet.

It sounds like...

[mikesmaddie.livejournal.com]

...it was quite an interesting morning for you all.

You know, Bri and I don't have a lot of money. We never really have. But we are happy because we have each other, our family, our friends, and our health.

Also, I don't need a lot in my life. Like you, I'm very happy with what I have.

God bless and take care. :).
Olga/Maddie

Re: It sounds like...

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Family, friends, health- those are the important things.

Yes,...

[mikesmaddie.livejournal.com]

...they all most definitely are.

God bless and take care. :).
Olga/Maddie

[michaeljohngrist.com (from livejournal.com)]

The happiness of Sweden and such places- I read that it was more to do with their expectations in life. They have lower expectations, so when reality meets those expectations, they're happier.

In some ways this might seem bad, but in others its good. It depends where you place happiness on a spectrum against things like the greatness and strength of the nation. If you want a great nation, pushing the envelope, evolving the world's technology and ideas- it may be better to have big dreamers who are then disappointed. A bunch of happy people with low expectations starts to sound a bit like all those big tubby babies in Wall-E. When does happiness like that start being just self-indulgence?

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I don't see how one can measure happiness. You watch Swedish movies- or the TV series with Ken Branagh as detective Wallender- and you don't come away with the idea that the Swedes are a happy people.

But what is happiness anyway? People with the capacity to be really happy usually have a capacity to be really depressed as well. I think what they're talking about is contentment- which isn't the same thing at all- and can easily mean being a fat, complacent, Wall-E baby.