Full Circle

[poliphilo]

When last night's TV film about Florence Nightingale (informative but - as a film- not very good) revealed that she undertook her mission as a result of hearing the voice of God, my reaction was not- as it might once have been- "Dear me, what a loon", but ,"Seems like my kinda gal"- which shows, I suppose, that I've finally completed the circular walk I took off on 22 years ago.

At the time I didn't know it would be circular. I though I was walking away from Christianity for good. But that's not how it works, is it? 

As T.S. Eliot says-

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

Also, yesterday evening, I finished Balzac's Le Cure de Campagne- a novel about guilt and redemption which quite unashamedly bangs the drum for old-school catholicism- and, instead of chucking it accross the room, I laid it aside with thoughtful sympathy.

No, I'm not going to ring the bishop and ask for my dog-collar back, but- well- I have to admit the thought has fleetingly crossed my mind. 

What I care about- what I have always cared about most deeply- are the things of the spirit.

Comments

Re: What I care about- what I have always cared about most deeply

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I think that's a very good way of looking at it. Creed and ritual are attempts to express, acknowledge, affirm a truth that continually escapes us.

I don't suppose I ever will return to the church- if only for the not very profound reason that church services bore me terribly- and always did (even when I was conducting them).

Re: What I care about- what I have always cared about most deeply

[wolfshift.livejournal.com]

Creed and ritual are attempts to express, acknowledge, affirm a truth that continually escapes us.

I think you're right -- though I think there's also a trick to it, to realise that some of the "rules" are in the nature of mental and spiritual discipline to help focus on the mysterious aspects, but other rules may in fact be repressive and outdated. A religious tradition grows from many different sources, not all of them necessarily good or bad.

I guess what I'm aiming at is that if one intends to participate in an organised religion, one should do it "properly" but not blindly.

one should do it "properly" but not blindly

[saare-snowqueen.livejournal.com]

I think that here you have hit upon one of the key criteria for holding a living faith. I definitely agree.

Re: What I care about- what I have always cared about most deeply

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Properly but not blindly- that's a real tightrope walk.

I find I no longer have any desire to practice a religion- but I still need a language in which to talk about spiritual things- and the language of Christianity is the one I'm most familiar with.

Re: What I care about- what I have always cared about most deeply

[wolfshift.livejournal.com]

Exactly -- it's difficult to find the right balance. I expect the line is in different places for different people, and it takes work to find it.