Identity

[poliphilo]

I've been reading a lot about Identity lately- mostly on LJ. So what's my indentity then?

I've done a lot of shucking of carapaces in my time. Most recently I wriggled out of the witch thing. I guess I was never that comfortable with it. So what kind of butterfly or moth or draggle-tailed fly has emerged?

And do I care? No, not really. I am what I am and I do what I do and if I am an identifiable type then fair enough, but I'll leave the classifying to others.

besideserato  asked me if I conformed to any particular stereotype of Britishness and I racked my brains and came up with eccentric old goat.  I thought some more and offered Jane Austen's Mr Bennett as my exemplar.  But I'm not rich and I've only got the one daughter. She then asked me if I eat buttered crumpets; to which the answer was, "not any more".

Britishness is a nebulous thing. The newspapers keep running features on it but they never come up with a definition. Since Wales and Scotland got governments of their own the old Union is derelict.  People are calling themselves English, Scots or Welsh rather than British.

My shaky grip on identity extends to my spelling. I write so much with Americans in mind that I find myself no longer knowing whether it's "recognise" or "recognize".

Then there's sexual identity. I find that a large proportion of the people I want to be talking to on LJ define themselves as bisexual or gay. I don't use that as a criterion of selection, it's just how it's turned out; these are the people who have interesting things to say and with whom I want to interact. 

My own stance is that I'm crazy, crazy, crazy about women. I love women, I like women, I identify with women. I'm in love with a woman and most of my friends are women.  If I write fiction I normally write from a woman's standpoint. So what does that make me?  I went with the "new man" label for a while, but that's out of date.

I'm fascinated by androgyny, but I'm comfortable enough in my own male skin and I don't care enough about clothes to want to cross-dress.  A change of gender would alter me very little I think.  If I were a woman I 'd be a  bespectacled lesbian and I'd dress in jumpers and jeans and sit in front of the computer screen all day-  just as I do now. 

Comments

[ibid.livejournal.com]

The Scots and Welsh identify themselves as such but the English tend to get mixed up with 'British' and don't always know the difference. I find this very interesting.

The university (so I read in the alumi magazine) did a psychology thing. Children tend to have very defined group identities. When they grow up these do not alter. Britons who were fair minded and didn't have the 'my football team right or wrong' attitude were regarded with some wariness while foriegners who didn't were regarded as being admirable!

Do you love women as individuals or as a species?

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

The smaller the nation, the fiercer the nationalism? No, that doesn't quite work because the Americans are more nationalistic than the British and the Swiss probably less so.

I think the English confuse Englishness with Britishness because they thought of the Union as an English take-over of the outlying nations.

I love individual women and I love women as a species. I just think women are nicer and more interesting than men.

[ibid.livejournal.com]

I think it depends on how secure you feel AS a dfdfghkfg-er.

Really? I find a lot of women very boring! And we are VERY bitchy (which Is why I often prefer men!)

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

But men are boring too. Cars, football, beer- Oh my God!

Bitchy, yes, but mainly with other women- so us men don't suffer from that too much.:>

[ibid.livejournal.com]

I think it is interesting that no matter what stides feminism has made women still desire to please men. I am unusual in calling myself a feminist, most femailes of my aquaintance don't for fear of frightening males!

I think feminism is about the empowerment [urgh vile word but the only applicable one]of men as much as of women.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I agree with that.

I just checked my info page to see whether I've got "feminism" listed as one of my interests- and, yes, I have. I've been a feminist- at least as much of a feminist as it's possible for a man to be- since the 80s.