Identity

[poliphilo]

I've been reading a lot about Identity lately- mostly on LJ. So what's my indentity then?

I've done a lot of shucking of carapaces in my time. Most recently I wriggled out of the witch thing. I guess I was never that comfortable with it. So what kind of butterfly or moth or draggle-tailed fly has emerged?

And do I care? No, not really. I am what I am and I do what I do and if I am an identifiable type then fair enough, but I'll leave the classifying to others.

besideserato  asked me if I conformed to any particular stereotype of Britishness and I racked my brains and came up with eccentric old goat.  I thought some more and offered Jane Austen's Mr Bennett as my exemplar.  But I'm not rich and I've only got the one daughter. She then asked me if I eat buttered crumpets; to which the answer was, "not any more".

Britishness is a nebulous thing. The newspapers keep running features on it but they never come up with a definition. Since Wales and Scotland got governments of their own the old Union is derelict.  People are calling themselves English, Scots or Welsh rather than British.

My shaky grip on identity extends to my spelling. I write so much with Americans in mind that I find myself no longer knowing whether it's "recognise" or "recognize".

Then there's sexual identity. I find that a large proportion of the people I want to be talking to on LJ define themselves as bisexual or gay. I don't use that as a criterion of selection, it's just how it's turned out; these are the people who have interesting things to say and with whom I want to interact. 

My own stance is that I'm crazy, crazy, crazy about women. I love women, I like women, I identify with women. I'm in love with a woman and most of my friends are women.  If I write fiction I normally write from a woman's standpoint. So what does that make me?  I went with the "new man" label for a while, but that's out of date.

I'm fascinated by androgyny, but I'm comfortable enough in my own male skin and I don't care enough about clothes to want to cross-dress.  A change of gender would alter me very little I think.  If I were a woman I 'd be a  bespectacled lesbian and I'd dress in jumpers and jeans and sit in front of the computer screen all day-  just as I do now. 

Comments

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I'm a hausfrau, I write, but don't make any money at it and I watch a lot of movies. Construct an identity out of that!

So no, that occupation-as-identity option isn't really open to me. And you're right; It causes problems. If I'm meeting a stranger I have problems introducing myself.

I'm Tony and I.....

[balirus.livejournal.com]

A famous psychologist, Albert Ellis perhaps, had the opinion that you could loosely gauge the depth of a person's identity if in the first ten minutes of newly meeting them the topic of occupation never arises.

Sometimes I play that test on people I meet. My experience has been that very few people resist introducing themselves apart from what they do (or have done) for a living. Neither good nor bad, just telling of what we first think of when we consider who we are.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Interesting. I'll remember that little game next time I'm introduced to somebody new.

By the way, I went on their site and listened to Guster. The meowing song is cool. I might just buy that CD.

[balirus.livejournal.com]

Yay! Another convert!

[besideserato.livejournal.com]

Sorry to butt in, but that's really interesting. I think part of my happy hour identity crisis occurred because I have no connection with any particular or culture (besides maybe the world wide web and e-culture) and I have no definitive job description.

Hey, come to think of it, internet junkie, jack of all trades has a nice ring. Hey, poliphilo, that's you, too!

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I like it.

"Hello, I'm Tony; I'm an internet junkie" Yes, it has a nicely defiant ring!

[besideserato.livejournal.com]

It certainly does. Crisis solved. Pass the croissants!

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I've already had mine. Croissants, I mean. That's what I always have for breakfast- croissants and strong tea.

[besideserato.livejournal.com]

Ooh, mmm. In about ten hours, I'll be having mine. It's almost 1:00 a.m., now.