More From Tideswell

[poliphilo]

We can't be sure who these ladies are but apparently they're older than the church that houses them. Aren't they elegant? One is dated c.1300 and the other c.1375. They've been placed rather awkwardly in the sanctuary of the Lady Chapel in a position where only the priest at the altar can see them properly. I had to climb over the altar rail to take these pictures. An act of trespass. But I am still a priest- yes I am: I may be listed in the archbishop's little black book, but they never defrocked me.

Comments

[manfalling.livejournal.com]

You're still a priest? So could you go back and work as a priest again then? Or is still being a priest just a technicality- since you're in the bad books, and they'd never actually take you back?

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I haven't tested the water, but it's my belief that if I went to the Church authorities and said, "look, I know I've been bad, but I'm truly sorry and I've cleaned up my act- gissa job", they'd almost certainly be willing to re-employ me.

[manfalling.livejournal.com]

Really- even after all the pagany stuff?

It's likely they'll have heard what you've been up to since you quit- you were kind of famous in that field for a while. I wonder if you coming back then would be considered a victory for them. I suppose they could try and pitch it that way.

I've always wondered- why not just fake it? Don't most priests fake it? They're educated- they don't really BELIEVE believe do they?

And in the process, get some good things done for people. And a nice secure way of life. But I suppose you got to do those things on your own terms anyway, so...

I have occasionally thought about you joining the priesthood and me joining my first English school as the same kind of thing. Initiation into a whole new world. First real job, and a potential career, but only if you accept certain premises. We both quit. You disillusioned with the belief, me disillusioned with English teaching. Then you went on to explore various types of faith, just as I've gone on to explore different types of teaching.

You had your down and out time- Brompton Street- and I languished in my own doldrums after the bike trip failure for about 2 years. I suppose for me it was a kind of crisis of faith. I'd lost the belief in my whole life plan. I guess it was the same for you. Though you had more riding on it, and more to lose. That must have really sucked.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Those are interesting parallels. I don't know about you, but I'm glad I had the Brompton St experience. It was pretty grim, but it was also pretty exciting. What doesn't kill me makes me strong.

Do you reckon you've put the "doldrums" behind you- or is there still work to be done?

The Church went through an interesting phase in the 60s, 70s and 80s, with people like The Bishop of Durham and- even more radical- the Rev'd Don Cupitt- exploring how far it was possible to go in denying traditional Christian doctrine while still remaining Christian. I got caught up in all that. But I could never see why, after you'd passed a certain stage, you should want to go on playing the game. Cupitt ended up embracing a kind of Christian Atheism. Fine. But too subtle for me. Why not just bail out and become an honest to goodness atheist?

These days the radicals have gone quiet- maybe they all left the church- and the conservative evangelicals are running things. These are people who are anti-modern, intellectually incurious, and seem to have nothing better to do with their time than obsess about homosexuality and abortion.

[manfalling.livejournal.com]

Doldrums- good question. I do worry from time to time that it might be possible to slip right back into them. I'd make one mistake, the world would change shape, and I'd be left screwed.

Having said that though- at no stage did leaving the first company really feel right. Neither did leaving Yuka behind. I wasn't all that psyched about the bike trip either. I just felt I HAD to do those things. Prove something, I don't know. It was the plan and I had to stick to it.

Perhaps now I have more modest goals. Am trying to build a base in reality, not stretched out on some rickety bridge of hope and dreams and fortuitousness. But I guess you never know.

I suppose, with that in mind, there was no way to avoid the ultimate doldrums I had. They were built into the dreams that weren't a good match for what I really wanted to do.

Atheist Christians huh? Sounds kind of cool. You get the respect, the community, the house and the pay, but can pretty much say you don't believe.