Oh, right- Hmmm...

[poliphilo]

I was in the hotel room dressing or undressing. I had my shirt off and my mind was God knows where and Ailz snapped a photo of me. 

I'd post it only Ailz has lost the lead to her camera and can't download it. (You believe me, right?)

It shows a fat old man. A fat old man with a vacant expression. 
 
Actually- worse than that;  it shows a ghoul.

I don't believe I've put on weight, but the muscles have relaxed.

You look in the mirror and you don't see the truth. You edit and adapt. You have an idea of what you "really" look like and you lay that across the appearance. Also the reflection plays along. It smiles and grimaces and acts youthful.

In my mind I'm ageless. Or- let's say- a young-looking 40:  mature, but still slim and trim with a boyish face. People used to tell me I didn't look my age and I was pleased to believe them.

Now I come to think of it, no-one has told me that for a while.

And now I know why.

Comments

[jenny_evergreen]

Happens to us all; it's why looks really truly shouldn't matter.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I agree.

I resent the ageing process, but also find it fascinating.

[jenny_evergreen]

*nod* It's interesting.
I'm not seeing much aging in myself yet, just some grey hair, but, then, it's hard, as you say. I can see how Tom has gone from a 19-year-old boy to a 34-year-old man. (I like the man better. ;))

[mummm.livejournal.com]

I know it's discouraging, but we all go through it. We do need to accept ourselves as we are sometimes I guess...

[pondhopper.livejournal.com]

I´m always startled at photos of myself. I don´t see that same woman when I look in the mirror. You´re right, our eyes see what they adapt to seeing. Recently though, I have adopted a more carefree attitude towards the "relaxing" muscles. I just want to be graceful about the whole process.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

There are advantages to this business of growing old. I keep having to remind myself what they are.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I think growing old is a great test of our resilience and good nature.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Yes. Growing old is a great test of character I think.

[solar-diablo.livejournal.com]

The gray in my hair is barely noticable at 37, but if I were to let my beard grow it would be all too obvious. Thankfully running, calesthenics, and yoga have kept that southward softening trend at bay for the time being. But it's coming. I see it in those high school friends I still have regular contact with as well.

I think it takes a degree of humor. Old age is Death smiling at us. All we can do is smile back.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I'm 20 years ahead of you and the fella's not just smiling, he's giving me this evil grin.

[currawong.livejournal.com]

Dreams are revealing too ... in mine I seem to be in my mid-thirties ... how old are you in yours?

[lily.livejournal.com]

Wonderful entry.

When age doesn't matter to a person I guess it's not always what's in their thoughts. Which is why sometimes we get so surprised when we see ourselves in the mirror or in photographs. As you said, in your mind you're ageless...and you are.

Lili

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I don't really know. I never get to see myself. But younger than I am now. I certainly don't have arthritis in my dreams.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

My mother- who is in her mid 80s- says she thinks of herself as 21. And she lives her life, day to day, as if she were totally indestructible.

[currawong.livejournal.com]

Not only no arthritis in your dreams, but sometimes you can fly ... although the other night i was murdered twice in one night, which seemed rather excessive ... got to lay off those crime shows, LOL.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

If I could pick my dreams I'd fly more often. I don't think I've ever been murdered (that I can remember) but I've been in plenty of situations where all hope was lost.

[manfalling.livejournal.com]

I've got some wrinkles already. Or lines on my brow anyway.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Ah.....

It happens.

I didn't mention this- because it's not visible in the evil photograph- but the bald spot on the back of my head is getting bigger and bigger....

[currawong.livejournal.com]

I've been in life-threatening situations in dreams before, but this is the first time I've actually been murdered even once, I think ... thrown from a high terrace the first time, shot the second, (I had witnessed a woman being abducted) ... what shocked me wasn't so much being killed but the casual callousness of the perpetrators ... i woke up both times as the crunch came ... a strange experience.

[kaysho.livejournal.com]

I was surprised when I received a replacement credit card in the post a few days ago ... one that has a picture built into it to help prevent fraud. I've had the account for something like twenty years, and the photograph that they keep re-using is about fifteen years old now.

I haven't changed a bit, I like to think?

Haha!