It Comes To Us All

[poliphilo]

I think about death all the time. 

Not in a morbid way. At least I don't find it morbid.

I think it's healthy to use a  skull as a paperweight. Or to have your own funeral effigy designed in advance so you can keep a picture of it in your bedroom the way John Donne did.

But then I'm not afraid of death.  I believe in the immortality of the soul.  And this isn't a clinging to the ledge by the fingertips kind of a belief, but more like a conviction.

The soul is immortal. The personality isn't.  The personality goes on the scrapheap. I think the personality I've developed in this life is interesting enough and I suppose I'm quite fond of it, but I won't mind letting it go. 

The whole art of growing old is knowing how and when to let things go. 

It feels like I've already lived several different lives in the course of my 56 years. For instance there's this guy I used to be who  worked for the church. I've let him go and I don't regret him in the least. 

When I'm reading about some famous dead person I always make a point of checking the age at which they died. Yesterday I was reading about Lee Miller. She died at 70. Which means she was only 14 years older than I am now. At 56 I'm in the killing zone. Anita Roddick just died in her early 60s. Look, really, it could happen to me any time now...

Comments

[glassgirl7.livejournal.com]

Zoe_1418 sent me to your journal because of this post. My mom died a year ago this month, and our relationship was quite complex, although much healing took place in the last couple years of her life. However, in this grief period I'm haunted by the idea that she will torment me in some future lifetime if I discuss (for the purpose of healing from) her imperfections with regards to me. This is, obviously, getting in my way! Its comforting to think that her personality will NOT go on. Thanks for posting this. Anything else you can share about this idea would be very helpful to me. My convictions re: reincarnation or something like it are getting in my way here, but convictions aren't so easy to shake. Maybe re-framing would meet with more success!

...and do you mind if I add you to my friends list?

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I believe in reincarnation too. But I don't think we carry resentments over from one lifetime to the next. What we may carry over are particular relationship issues that we still need to work at.

But the aim will always be to achieve resolution. Anything you can do now to further that resolution will be helpful- and will have your mother's blessing. She's beyond petty considerations of ego now- and is almost certainly sorry for the harm she did you.

I think life on earth is a kind of glorified role play. We come here to learn. In between lives we rest and reflect on what we've achieved and- once we're feeling strong enough- we reincarnate and give things another shot.

Next time round you might be the parent and she the child- or it could be that the relationship has run its course and the two of you won't reincarnate together again. Whatever happens will, I believe, be arranged for your benefit and with your consent.

The book I've recommended to Zoe may be of interest. http://www.spiritualregression.org/journeyreview.html

Of course you can add me. And I'll be adding you back.

[glassgirl7.livejournal.com]

Your perspective is very peaceful, and your response to my issue is very kind. Thank you so much for this; there's something so comforting about support from strangers!