I'm not brave. Not constitutionally brave. Give me time to consider the perils of a given situation and I'll usually do the sensible- cowardly- thing. But once in a while I get caught out. Events move too fast and there I suddenly am, in the thick of it, with a gang of kids waving burning sticks in my face and instead of turning away I keep ploughing on.
I remember the incident as a series of stills. The bits in between- the connections between image A and image B- have disappeared. A kid is blocking the gate into the alley. I know I got past him- but how exactly did I do it? Did I push him aside, or dodge him or did he retreat before me? I really don't know.
I was clearly in some sort of altered state of consciousness. How interesting!
And the altered state carried me through until the task I'd set myself was completed. In all I made three trips from the kitchen to the fire. The stick waving and the verbals got worse and worse, but my nerve held. Then I stepped back onto my property, shut the gate- and started to shake.
I'm tempted to say I did a stupid thing, but, then again I'm convinced that- risky or not- it was the right thing. I may have been in an altered state, but I was also completely under control. I didn't offer violence and I didn't say anything abusive. I gave them as little provocation as possible and just slid between them and did what I had to do.
Could I do it again? Probably not.
I remember the incident as a series of stills. The bits in between- the connections between image A and image B- have disappeared. A kid is blocking the gate into the alley. I know I got past him- but how exactly did I do it? Did I push him aside, or dodge him or did he retreat before me? I really don't know.
I was clearly in some sort of altered state of consciousness. How interesting!
And the altered state carried me through until the task I'd set myself was completed. In all I made three trips from the kitchen to the fire. The stick waving and the verbals got worse and worse, but my nerve held. Then I stepped back onto my property, shut the gate- and started to shake.
I'm tempted to say I did a stupid thing, but, then again I'm convinced that- risky or not- it was the right thing. I may have been in an altered state, but I was also completely under control. I didn't offer violence and I didn't say anything abusive. I gave them as little provocation as possible and just slid between them and did what I had to do.
Could I do it again? Probably not.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-01 08:56 am (UTC)It's disconcerting to be faced by gang of little poersons and not automatically have the whip hand. In the world I grew up in Adults Ruled OK!And, of course, if I'd laid so much as a finger on them I'd have been in deep trouble. Mind you, I'm not sure that's altogether a bad thing.
Ihe camera is a good idea. Or maybe I could pretend I was a cop. After all the kids would have no way of knowing I was bluffing.