Firefighters II

[poliphilo]

The kids had another go at burning down the fence on the far side of the back alley- only this time there were five of them when I went out with my bowl of water and  I got shouted at and had burning sticks waved in my face. I decided (if indeed you actually make decisions in these situations) that I'd call their bluff and just get on with the job- so I did and came out of it unscathed- but it has rattled me some.

Comments

[idahoswede.livejournal.com]

Same girls included in the bunch? Are they recognisable as neighbourhood kids?

[greybeta.livejournal.com]

Man, kids these days, no respect. Bravo for calling their bluff!

[frumiousb.livejournal.com]

Yikes. Can you talk to your other neighbors about the problem? Perhaps they can identify the parents in question...

[strange-complex.livejournal.com]

That sounds rather horrible. I don't think I've got any sensible advice to give - I can only say I'd be bloody rattled myself in the circumstances!

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Same girls plus three boys. I guess they're local, but not off our street.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

The lack of respect took me by surprise. I'm not used to kids being quite so lippy with adults.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Our neighbours are mostly Asian. These kids were white. They'll be from near at hand but not from our street.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure my behaviour was particularly sensible, but once I was committed to the action I felt I had to follow through.

I'm hoping they're feeling at least as rattled by what happened as I am.

Cos, after all, I won!

[strange-complex.livejournal.com]

If it happens again, I suggest you make sure you dump a hefty proportion of the water you're carrying right over them! If nothing else, it'll feel satisfying. :)

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

If it happens again I think I'll call the Fire Brigade and let them deal with it...

[momof2girls.livejournal.com]

WTF?? Why are these kids trying to burn down the fence?

I'd be careful about confronting them - if they will attempt arson, they might attack you. Don't risk your own life, even for a good cause!

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Why are they trying to burn down the fence? God knows. I suppose they think it would be cool. Pretty flames and all that. Kids are dumb.

If it happens again I shall probably be a little more circumspect. Yes, I took a big risk. I guess that makes me as dumb as they are.

[heleninwales.livejournal.com]

Well done on not backing down. But if it happens again, I think you'd better phone the fire brigade or possibly even better, the police. The kids might actually like the excitement of the fire brigade arriving and that would only encourage them to do it again.

[momof2girls.livejournal.com]

It doesn't make you dumb - it makes you brave for wanting to stand up to them and nip things in the bud before they escalate further. I would just hate to see you get hurt because of it!

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

After last night I sort of understand how it happens that fire officers get pelted with rocks when they tackle out of control bonfires.

These kids were really proprietorial towards their fire- and outraged that I was trying to put it out.

If there's a next time- and I hope there won't be- I'm certainly going to be less gung-ho in my response.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

At some subconscious level one calculates the degree of risk.

I got away with it that time, but next time I'll be less foolhardy.

[jfs.livejournal.com]

Next time, take a camera?

When driving on the motorway, a friend has often caused someone tailgating the car she's in to slow down and back off by waving her mobile phone at them as if she's taking a picture. (Not, I hasten to add, when she's been the driver.)

[suemars.livejournal.com]

kids now are scary, and not afraid of anyone or anything, and so disrespectful. i think they figure nothing will happen to them. too bad you don't have a big hose and could reallly get them.

[ibid.livejournal.com]

I think the only thing to do is to show them who's in charge and act the scary grown up - I don't think they'll get any better if they grow up thinking they can act in an intimidating fasion.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I think I acted like I wasn't scared of them. As much as possible I just carried on with my fire-fighting activities as though they weren't there. Hopefully I'll have given them something to think about.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

That's good advice.

I guess I'd be a little worried they might snatch the camera and break it.....

[heleninwales.livejournal.com]

If the kids have any sense, they'll realise you're watching out for them and will go elsewhere to light their fires. I know this doesn't totally solve the problem, but at least it means it's not your problem.

When I was young we had lots of waste land and bomb sites on which to build fires and generally mess about. These sites must all have been cleared and built on by now, so kids don't have these waste places to play on.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I think kids have always been as lawless as they're allowed to be.

And now adults no longer have an automatic aura of authority. It's a bit disconcerting to have a very small person size up to you with a weapon. You think, hey, this isn't what I was brought up to expect.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Like you I feel some sympathy for the kids. I even admire their pluck. When I was their age I wouldn't have dared confront an adult the way they confronted me.

[besideserato.livejournal.com]

Oh, my... glad to know you're OK.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

Heh- one of the drawbacks of urban living.....

[besideserato.livejournal.com]

Wow. I never saw anything like that in Peru, but I do see it in the US, not fires, but just a general whateverness about neighborhoods. It used to make me sad, now I'm just angry. I'll cite anyone. It's just not right.

[queen-in-autumn.livejournal.com]

I think it's great that you confronted them again -- but have you also thought about calling the police next time??

[mokie]

Maybe waterballoons? A bucket of them ready near the door in case the kids come back, and you can let fly at the general area, fire and kids both. Or maybe a 'supersoaker' type of water gun?

A drenching might do them some good. At the very least, their parents are likely to notice them coming home soaking wet. :)

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

When I suggested to the kids that their fire might burn down the fence one of them replied, "So what?"

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

The police take hours (literally) to respond to minor incidents. The Fire Brigade would be a better bet.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

And then their parents set the police on me for assaulting their kids. I'm not joking. You raise a finger against a child- even in self defence- and you can find yourself in deep, deep shit.

[besideserato.livejournal.com]

That blows my mind. How do you instill respect? How do you make kids want to be proud of where they live and seek to conserve it instead of tearing it down?

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I think all kids have that destructive streak.

How do you instill respect? I don't know. By earning it, I guess.

Did you respect adults when you were a kid? I didn't- not unless they were worthy of it and lots of them weren't- but I was afraid of them.

[mokie]

#1. That is just nuts.

#2. But you'd not be raising your hand against them--you'd be saving them from the dangerous flames by, er, pre-emptive fire retardant procedures. Or something.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

And all the kid has to say is "he touched me" and you're on the sex offender's register...

[besideserato.livejournal.com]

Adults are tough to look up to because they're human and human error is easy to spot no matter how young you are. (It's easiest to spot when you are young and are told adults are always right. I wasn't brought up that way.) So, in that sense, I guess I didn't respect them. But I did what they told me because I understood they had authority. I didn't fear them, though corporal and other sorts of punishment were acceptable at my school. It didn't happen often; we were all well-behaved.

I didn't realize not doing your homework was an option until I got to the US. That's insane in Peru. Not writing in perfect cursive by third grade is insane. Not getting As is insane. It's shameful. Who would want to shame his or herself like that? It's not that hard to sit still and do your work, go home, eat, play, do homework and study, play, eat, bathe, watch TV, see your parents and go to bed.

Admittedly, it is harder as a teen because you suddenly have so much more to say and do, but by that time, I knew what was expected of me and stuck to it. Even through my most intense phase of mischief, I did not forget that teachers, mentors, and parents had authority. There is a difference between doing and believing everything unquestioningly and just knowing when you need to shut up, listen, nod and make sure the other person feels OK. It's more about them than you. Occasionally even the dumbest people say amazing things. And even when they don't, they deserve to be heard.

My father (and his before him) always said, "I don't like you doing ______. I can't stop you, but at least have the decency to never do this in front of me or in a way I will find out." That's respect--knowing where the boundaries are. Those who came before you have boundaries you may not yet have. They're not written in stone and my change at any time, but you have the responsibility to learn what they are and observe them as best as you can even if you never ever fully understand what they're about. The best part of growing up is finally uncovering the reasons behind these boundaries. Every once in a while I think of something my parents said, get it and feel like they're geniuses.

But what I meant was respect for property. I would never do anything to anyone's stuff and I wouldn't have then. Stuff is an extension of the people who own it, even if you don't know who they are. Vandalizing is striking against that person or those people and the community. You don't have to look up to them to know that's not OK. Plus, when you live in an area, don't you want it to look nice?