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 The orthodoxy seems to be that narcissism arises out of childhood trauma but  I was listening to a woman yesterday who was saying "Rubbish!". She also said don't comfort yourself with the belief that the narcissist is hurting inside because some of them are having a wonderful time.

Personally, I don't think you can categorise human behaviour.  Or at least, while it can be useful to put people into categories a point will come where the filing system breaks down. Like I'm a librarian and here's a book that features an Elf detective solving cases in the greenwood- so what shelf do I put it on-  Crime or Fantasy?

I think narcissism exists on a spectrum. Some people are just a bit narcissistic and some are full blown. The current US President takes it into the realm of caricature. I doubt anyone is entirely free of the syndrome. I mean, we all like getting our own way, don't we?

Again I believe you can outgrow it. I look at my behaviour as a young man and think, "That was pretty controlling." However, I'm not like that now....

Why was I so controlling? Because the world was well scary and I needed allies. And if my chosen allies didn't entirely see things my way I tried to bend them to my will.  In my case narcissism rose out of Fear- and if I'm no longer narcissistic it's because I've stopped being afraid.....
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