A Conversation We Have Most Mornings

My Mother:  What day is it?

One of Us:   Thursday.

My Mother:   Is anything happening today?

One of Us:    No.

My Mother:   Do I have to go anywhere?

One of Us:    No.

My Mother:   O good.

Showing Sensitivity

Morning, sir.

Morning, Smith. Anything to report?

Well sir, there's this business with the jewellers shops. Smash and grab raids. Quite a spate of them.

A spate, you say?  That's new to me. I don't remember anything in the papers. Why wasn't I told before?

Well sir, it's not as simple as that. We've been trying to keep a lid on it.

But that's outrageous.

Yes and no. You see, the burglars all seem to come from the Asian community.

Oh.

Exactly, sir.

That does rather put a different complexion on things.

 We don't want to exacerbate racial tensions.

Of course not.

 But things have reached rather a pitch.  There's been a reporter sniffing around. We thought you might want to have a word with her  editor. On the QT

Yes, quite right. I believe we have a round of golf pencilled in for Friday afternoon.  Perhaps I should schedule a meeting with the community leaders too.

That could  be useful

I'd like to get their angle on it. These people have different cultural traditions, you see. Smith. One has to be aware of that. Exercise a little sensitivity. They probably see displays of rings and things as offensive.

I expect there's something in the Koran, sir.

Yes probably.  I  really should get round to reading it.

Besides, jewellers. Putting the goods in the window. All that conspicuous display....

No, it's not right.  Provocative in fact.

Shouldn't be allowed.

Bloody money grubbers. They're asking for it, Smith, just asking for it.