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Spiritual Domesticity
May. 25th, 2009 09:38 amI love routine in every day life- eating the same breakfast off the same plate every day- but not at all in the spiritual life. In the spiritual life- the life of the mind- I'm hungry for the unfamiliar. There's a universe out there and I want to cruise it all. I rarely re-read a book- or watch a movie twice- and I've been finding it a terrible bore having to soldier through the same unvarying liturgy week after week.
This isn't the only reason I'm leaving the church (again) but it counts. If I enjoyed saying and singing the words I might be able to cope with not believing in them- but I don't . This isn't about aesthetics. We could be singing the finest words to the finest music and I'd still be chafing. After a time- and with me its a very short time- even Cranmer palls.
I thought, since I was getting old, that I was ready to nest inside a religious tradition. I was wrong. I don't want that kind of spiritual domesticity. I'm tired, but I'm not that tired. "Old men should be explorers". Tell me something new.
This isn't the only reason I'm leaving the church (again) but it counts. If I enjoyed saying and singing the words I might be able to cope with not believing in them- but I don't . This isn't about aesthetics. We could be singing the finest words to the finest music and I'd still be chafing. After a time- and with me its a very short time- even Cranmer palls.
I thought, since I was getting old, that I was ready to nest inside a religious tradition. I was wrong. I don't want that kind of spiritual domesticity. I'm tired, but I'm not that tired. "Old men should be explorers". Tell me something new.
