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All that wonderful Antipodean sunshine and they stage the Australian Open indoors. It seems wilful. Sulky even. I hear voices from my childhood saying things like, "It's a lovely afternoon; why don't you go out and play."

The other thing that always shocks me a little is the blue floor. I mean, they don't even go through the motions of pretending it's grass.

I haven't really been watching. I turned the TV on for my mother this afternoon and happened on a recording of the Kerber-Sharapova match. Sharapova got swept aside. She was never my favourite and the noise she makes is hideous- like the whooping bit in whooping cough. I always thought she got more attention than her talent deserved because of her long legs and yellow hair. 


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