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poliphiloMy mother and I were watching a documentary about dementia last night. I didn't think she'd register what was going on- and I was right, she didn't. A lot of the people featured knew there was something wrong with them, but my mother doesn't. We've never had her condition diagnosed and I can't see the point; we don't need a doctor to confirm what we already know. Besides, she's perfectly happy- happier, so far as I can tell, than she was a year ago.
I was talking to our next door neighbour yesterday afternoon. Her mother- who lives in Maine- has dementia too. They recently had a phone conversation that went something like this.
Mother: I broke my leg.
Neighbour. I know. I spent the summer looking after you. Don't you remember?
Mother: No.
I was talking to our next door neighbour yesterday afternoon. Her mother- who lives in Maine- has dementia too. They recently had a phone conversation that went something like this.
Mother: I broke my leg.
Neighbour. I know. I spent the summer looking after you. Don't you remember?
Mother: No.
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Date: 2014-10-14 09:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-10-14 10:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-10-14 01:56 pm (UTC)How to communicate with patients who have dementia
http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2014/10/communicate-patients-dementia.html
It argues that confronting people with dementia about their memory loss doesn't improve their condition and instead just makes them upset, and there are other methods to use.
It's written toward doctors but I think it's really useful article.
no subject
Date: 2014-10-15 05:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-10-14 03:10 pm (UTC)He didn't remember being married and having children, either. But for a moment he remembered having gone to Dartmouth.
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Date: 2014-10-14 04:41 pm (UTC)do crosswords. I'm not sure about her long term memory because she was never one to reminisce. The other day I had to tell her which year it was; she seemed surprised we'd got as far as the 21st century.
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Date: 2014-10-14 03:21 pm (UTC)I'm pleased to hear she's happy; my great-grandmother (who lived to be 104 - poor soul!) began loosing her memory and her wits around 99 but retained enough wits to be constantly aware that she was dimming and fading. And it pained her when she couldn't recognise her great-grandchildren - and later on her grandchildren and her children. Some times ignorance is truly a blessing, and it always reminds me of Voltaire's story of the Good Brahmin. Some times, perhpas, the Brahmin is wrong; sometimes it might indeed be preferable to live in ignorant bliss, rather than in knowing unhappiness.
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Date: 2014-10-14 04:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-10-14 05:12 pm (UTC)instead of to someone
knowing the face/voice is more important than the name.
it would be interesting to find exactly where in her brain the disconnect is.
but its way better not to turn her into a guinea pig
where they would force her to know there is an deficit.
she must drive you nuts at times
you are very kind
I'd love to have you as my child/sheild
hugssss
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Date: 2014-10-14 05:51 pm (UTC)She can be annoying. Also we can't leave her these days. Not unless we arrange for someone to sit in.
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Date: 2014-10-14 06:17 pm (UTC)hope there's a few folks to help set in
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Date: 2014-10-14 08:53 pm (UTC)And we're about to have seven days off. We've hired someone from an agency to live here while we're gone.
help
Date: 2014-10-15 04:55 pm (UTC)Re: help
Date: 2014-10-15 05:07 pm (UTC)You know how much we rely on you.
Re: help
Date: 2014-10-15 05:10 pm (UTC)Re: help
Date: 2014-10-15 05:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-10-14 05:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-10-14 05:52 pm (UTC)She forgets that she forgets.