You Guess Is As Good As Mine

[poliphilo]

The carer arrives a little earlier than usual and my mother keeps her waiting while she pours herself another cup of tea and drinks it. I read this as bloody minded self assertion; Ailz reads it as an inability to deviate from routine.

"Are you happy to have Lauren stand here watching you drink that cup of tea?" I ask, trying not to explode.

""No." Says my mother, "But what else can I do?"

Comments

[lblanchard.livejournal.com]

My two cents: Ailz is absolutely right.

Ten years before her Alzheimer's was recognized, my mother-in-law went quietly ballistic in the kitchen because I asked my father-in-law to omit the salt from the rim of my margarita. If there's no salt it's not a proper margarita, she said to him, and you should make her choose another cocktail.

Some years later I realized that this and various other strict rule-following pronouncements were the result of no longer being able to think outside the rule book. To throw away the rules meant she'd have to go into here be dragons territory.

Why not invite Lauren to sit down and have a cup of tea herself while she waits?

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

We did ask her to sit; she didn't want to.

I'm very conscious that she's working to a timetable and that if my mother keeps her hanging about she's going to be late for the next appointment.

Her routine is very important to my mother- but, even so, she's beginning to forget what it is.