You Guess Is As Good As Mine

[poliphilo]

The carer arrives a little earlier than usual and my mother keeps her waiting while she pours herself another cup of tea and drinks it. I read this as bloody minded self assertion; Ailz reads it as an inability to deviate from routine.

"Are you happy to have Lauren stand here watching you drink that cup of tea?" I ask, trying not to explode.

""No." Says my mother, "But what else can I do?"

Comments

[splodgenoodles.livejournal.com]

I'm with Ailz on this one.

(Also, I believe that if carers turn up early, it is their job to wait).

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I feel for the carers. Hard work, poorly paid: I think it's the client's obligation to treat them with courtesy.

[splodgenoodles.livejournal.com]

I do too, and I always treat my carers with courtesy.

If it helps any, the ones I work with are well aware that their clients can't always follow the normal rules - and they care about them anyway. They understand the need for routine in some clients very well.

If I'm not ready for my carer's help, they're invited to sit and wait and have a cuppa and snack.

[heleninwales.livejournal.com]

Indeed, but it could be that your mother is showing the first early signs of Alzheimers and you have to forgive people in that situation because they are literally not the people they once were. Being unable to deviate from routine would be a symptom.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

It hasn't been diagnosed as such but I'm sure she has Alzheimers. We try to keep things ticking over normally- as if nothing were the matter- but things are very far from normal.

[cmcmck.livejournal.com]

So it is (I've done care work with elder folk) but you have to recall that people aren't always capable of such courtesy and your ma's memory is going so one tends to be a bit forgiving as I'm sure Lauren is well aware.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

My mother has always been capable of eye-watering rudeness. These days, actually, she's a considerably more mellow.