poliphilo

1. Guillaume le Marechale aka William Marshall: Well, not exactly in the news but he was the subject of a TV documentary last night and that's close. He's someone we ought to remember but don't. He has three claims on our admiration/affection. Firstly he was the twelfth century's top knight- famous both for his martial prowess and his loyalty to whatever monarch had a claim to it. Secondly he faced down King John and was a prime mover of Magna Carta. Thirdly, at the age of 70, he fought a game-changing battle at Lincoln which got rid of an invading French army and ensured the succession of Henry III. Really he should be up there in the pantheon of national heroes alongside Drake and Nelson and Richard Coeur de Lion- whom he once famously beat in single combat. "You tried to kill me," says Richard." "Indeed not" says William- who had skewered the horse and not the man- "I'm strong enough to aim my spear."

2. Diana Dors. Now she really is in the news. The Telegraph has her picture on the front page- which will set a few withered old loins a-tremble. We're learning (actually I think we already knew) that Max Clifford (currently on trial for sex crimes) used to attend "parties" at her gaff. Dors got billed as the English Marilyn Monroe but was more like the English Mae West. She was a a lovely young thing who turned into a game old bird and never entirely found the proper vehicle for her talents. When I was about ten and thought she was silly I began a scurrilous poem about her that never got further than the opening couplet...

Diana Dors
Fell on the floors.