My Names

[poliphilo]

I've never used a pseudonym before. And I wouldn't have done so here on LJ if it hadn't been the etiquette (so to speak.) I don't mind people knowing who I really am- and if you want to be told I'll tell you, no qualms.

But I like my adopted name. I've started to identify with it. It's more elegant and eloquent than the real thing.

But what's with this "reality" business anyway? Which is more real- the name my parents gave me or the one I have given myself?

My real first name derives from an ancient Roman family, the most famous member of which has a leading role in Shakespeare. It's further identified with the guy who set the early Christian fashion for going out into the Egyptian desert and hallucinating (otherwise known as monasticism.)

Wanna have a guess? No prizes I'm afraid.

And my last name is an odd little monosyllable of uncertain derivation. It might mean "grey" or it might have something to do with milling.

But Poliphilo- he's this Italian Renaissance Alice who scuttles through Wonderland (in search of his girlfriend) oohing and aahing at the architecture and furnishings. I didn't spend a whole lot of time choosing the name, but I find it fits very comfortably. Lover of Many Things is what it means.

I want it on my tombstone.

Comments

[queen-in-autumn.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure where it came from, but I've always had a sense that names were powerful and should be meaningful.

My first name is a relatively common variation on "Jane", and my given middle name was "Gay" -- back when it only meant "happy." In the mid-seventies, as I began to wish for a heroic aspect to my life, and looked to a name change to encourage it. So I changed my middle name to Sabrina (for reasons too lengthy to detail here). I changed it legally when I turned 21, because my father wouldn't allow it while I was still a minor.

I grew up as the oldest daughter of the superintendent of the school district, so I was taught very early about the distinction between public and private discourse, and about discretion, and how things can reflect back on other members of the family. I tend to be very open with people, but when posting in cyberspace I've almost always used a pseudonym.

Since adopting qos -- for the tarot "Queen of Swords" -- I've found that the symbolism has become even more powerful and pertinent to my offline life.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I agree about the power of names. When I was a practising Wiccan I took a succession of "magical names" (none of which I used outside the circle.) The idea was that you took the name of a god in order to aquire his/her characteristics.

[queen-in-autumn.livejournal.com]

I am familiar with that practice. Oddly enough, despite my conviction about the power of names, having a magical name never worked well for me during my own Wiccan years. On some level, taking a "magical name" separated the magic/power from my daily self, somehow made what happened in the circle more like a make-believe game than something of actual potency.

It might have been an entirely different experience if I had been a member of a circle rather than a solitary. If other people had used it, the name might have become invested with more significance and power.

But the secrecy of other names I've taken hasn't impacted their power for me. Hmmm.

It's a somewhat paradoxical element of my history.

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I found the practice useful. Taking on the name of a god far-removed from my everyday persona caused me to flex muscles I didn't know I had.

But there always came a time when the name became inert and I knew I had to take a fresh one.

[queen-in-autumn.livejournal.com]

Taking on the name of a god far-removed from my everyday persona caused me to flex muscles I didn't know I had.

Interesting. . . I've strongly identified with certain deities, but have always avoided using any divine names for self-reference.

*files some thoughts away for future pondering*

[poliphilo.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't do it now. The "magical" names were only for use in the temple. I guess there might be dangers (of swell-headedness at the very least) in taking such names with one out into the world.