Ashes

[poliphilo]

My mother and father were both very close to their parents but never raised any sort of memorial to them when they died. My sister says they never even collected their ashes from the crem. We were talking about this last night. She finds it odd. I don't- not particularly.  Ashes are only ashes. They're not the person. The person is gone. I have never had the slightest wish to go stand beside my grandparents' (non-existent) graves- and I was very fond of them too. The spirit goes on to other adventures, the person lives in the memory of the living for as long as is appropriate. What more do you need? 

Comments

[qatsi.livejournal.com]

I absolutely agree. When Mum died, Dad had already ticked a box for the ashes to be scattered impersonally in the garden of remembrance at the crematorium. Whilst I didn't feel entirely comfortable with this (more down to lack of consultation than anything else), all the other options seemed more complicated and would have made me feel even less comfortable.

Fortunately, on the day of the funeral, the sun contrived to be blazing down on said garden as we left the ceremony, and did make it look an earthly paradise. This helped a lot. It's where Dad will go when the time comes.